Page 56 of Renegade
I stare at the ceiling, trying not to think about the feel of her almost-naked body next to mine and her soft skin. What now?Now I tell you that I love you, that you make me want to be a better man and I can’t imagine my life without you.But I can’t. To her, this week has been nothing more than a crash course to win over another guy. I make my tone casual as I say, “Now we get some sleep, and tomorrow I take you to the airport. You’ll go back to Charleston and Declan. I’ll talk to Noah and we’ll plan our next move. We need to find the guns before we let the CIA know we’re on to them. We need to be careful, and we need to be ready before we tip our hand.”
“I could stay and help.”
“You need to go home. I’ll feel better knowing you’re safe there.”
After a few minutes, she says, “You were fierce tonight when you saw me with Valor.” I can feel her smile against my chest.
“I don’t like people fucking with what’s mine.”
She laughs softly. “Maybe you should have written that in Sharpie on my ass before we went.”
“I’ll have to remember that for next time,” I say lightly. But there won’t be a next time. Tomorrow, she goes home to Declan, and the bitch of it is, instead of scaring her away from him, I’ve essentially driven her straight into his arms. I hope she’s right, and he’s what she wants. I hope he makes her happy. I try to ignore my heart screaming that she belongs with me, that I can’t let her walk away. But I love her. I have to let her go.
“Poker was fun…” she says, her voice trailing off into a yawn.
I pull her to my chest, savoring the feel of her body next to mine this one last time. “Go to sleep, sweetheart.”
But she’s already asleep.
I, on the other hand, lie awake, stroking her hair and dreading tomorrow, when she boards that plane back to Charleston and takes my heart with her.
