Page 16 of Renegade
“Wait. That’s it?” That can’t be it.
Walker turns around slowly and gives me a long, hard look, and I wish I could tell what’s going through that mind of his. Finally, he says, “You want more?”
“Hell yes, I want more. I want the whole thing. The sooner the better. Before Declan comes back. I want to know as much as I can before I see him again, so I know what to expect.”
He takes a step closer. “The whole thing? Are you sure about this?” There’s a slight edge to his voice.
“Absolutely positive.” His intense gaze never leaves my face, and I’m suddenly just the tiniest bit nervous. “Um, what exactly is the whole thing?”
“Doing what I say without question or argument. Being at my mercy. Giving yourself to me to do whatever I wish, without reservation. Restraints, blindfolds, being completely open with me, sexually. If you’re going to do this, ifwe’regoing to do this, I’m not going to go easy on you. Are you okay with that?”
I nod. “Yes. I trust you. Just not, you know, actual sex. No intercourse. Because that might get weird. I’m okay with everything else, but actually doing it kind of crosses the line.”
“Agreed. But that means you can’t have sex with anyone else, either, while we’re doing this. In fact, you can’t come without asking me for permission.”
“What!” I’m still feeling edgy from all my research earlier today, and somehow this conversation isn’t helping.
“If you really want me to teach you, that’s the deal. The only way you’ll know for sure if this is what you want with Declan is if you’re all in, not just playing at it. I have a feeling he’s an all-or-nothing kind of guy. Take it or leave it. It makes no difference to me. You’re the one who wants this. But I understand if it’s too much and you want to change your mind.”
That sounds like a challenge, and I’ve never been able to walk away from one. It’s a character flaw. “I don’t want to change my mind.”
He hesitates, and I’m afraid he’s going to sayhe’schanged his mind, that he’s not going to help me. But then he nods curtly and says, “Fine. We need to go over a few rules, then. You’ll need a safe word. A word that makes everything stop, no questions asked.”
“Pineapple.”
“You’re allergic to pineapples.”
“Exactly.” I grin.
He laughs. “I guess that makes sense. Okay. ‘Pineapple’ stops everything, ‘yellow’ if you have a cramp or you need a breather or we need to talk.”
I nod my agreement.
“Anything that’s definitely off-limits? That you don’t want to explore? Besides actually having sex, of course.”
“I don’t know enough to know if there’s anything I don’t want. That’s what I want you to help me with.”
He frowns. “We’re supposed to discuss your hard limits.”
“I trust you, Walker.”
He sighs. “Okay. We’ll take that as it comes. When we’re doing a scene—that’s what it’s called when we’re assuming the roles of dominant and submissive—you call me sir.”
“Are you kidding?”
He grins. “Nope.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Fine. But you are enjoying this way too much.”
He grips my chin firmly in his hand and forces my gaze up to his. “Fine what?”
“Fine, sir?”
“Good girl.”
“What am I, your dog?”
He laughs. “It’s a common phrase dominants use to convey their approval. You don’t like it?”
