Page 49 of Renegade
What were we talking about? My mind has gone blank.
He kisses my sex—just a brush of his lips overmy bare and sensitive outer lips—and my knees buckle slightly. “How far will you let me take you?” His voice is low and throaty.
Anywhere and everywhere, as long as I’m with you.
He pulls my jeans all the way off and stands, stripping off his T-shirt before he pulls me back over to the bed. “Let’s try something on. I want to make sure you’re appropriately outfitted and ready for the club.”
Oh my God. How did I not think of that until now? I need an outfit for the club!
“What am I going to wear? I didn’t bring a dress at all, much less anything that would be right for a sex club. Not that I know what that would be,” I add with a strangled laugh.
He picks up what looks like a thick, black dog collar. “Let’s start with this.” He turns me around, lifts my hair, and fastens it around my neck. It feels…different. It’s thick and a little restrictive, forcing my chin up slightly and preventing me from lowering my head all the way. In some dim recess of my mind, I think I should object to wearing a collar like some sort of pet, but all I can think about is how erotic it is. Or maybe it’s just the way Walker’s looking at me with heat in his smoldering brown eyes.
“You look beautiful,” he says softly. “You were made to wear black, baby, with that pale skin of yours. It looks fucking amazing.” He picks up a leash and clips it onto the collar. My heart is beating faster now.
“Why a collar?” My voice sound strange to my own ears…breathless and tentative, somehow, without my usual confidence and control.
He laughs. “Because it’s sexy as fuck. You have no idea how beautiful you look.” He gives the leash a sharp tug, pulling me toward him until my bare chest is flat against his, my already aroused nipples scraping against his coarse chest hair. Cupping my cheek in his hand, he tilts my face up and kisses me hard and deep. Still holding my chin, he says, “Collars are a symbol of ownership—of your submissiveness and my ultimate control over you. The surrender of your mind, body, and soul to me.”
“Oh,” I whisper.
He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip, and I suck it into my mouth. I swirl my tongue over the rough pad, and this time he’s the one who inhales sharply. He pulls his thumb out of my mouth and turns to the spread of toys on the bed, taking a deep breath as if to steady himself. Maybe he feels the same impossibly wild chemistry I do—the kind that obliterates all rational thought. “What do you want to try first?”
Oh, God. I’m not sure I want to try anything. I just want to feel Walker’s hands on my skin, feel his cock inside me. “Um…” I stammer. “The blindfold?”
“We’ve already tried that. Try again.”
“Maybe the restraints?” His low chuckle sends desire washing over me. “Something new, sweetheart. Tomorrow we’re going to a BDSM club. Playing with the big boys.” His voice takes on a more businesslike tone. “Besides, this is what you want with Declan. You wanted some experience, and to know what you like and don’t like.” For some reason, him mentioning Declan is like a bucket of cold water in my face. “What’s it going to be? The flogger? The nipple clamps?”
“Not the flogger!” I say quickly.
He lifts one eyebrow. “No? Scared?”
“No!” I say quickly, but Walker knows me way too well for me to fool him.
His eyes gleam wickedly. “You know, knowing it scares you only makes me want to do it more. Kind of like when we went to the amusement park and you were scared to go on the roller coaster. I made you, and you loved it. You told me you just needed a little nudge so you could let yourself go and experience the adrenaline rush. Because whether you’ll admit it or not, you like the rush of doing things that scare you. Things that push your boundaries. It’s just one of the million things we have in common.”
I remember that day vividly. I’d never been to an amusement park before. It was our senior trip, and even though Walker had been hanging out with his friends and his usual entourage of the cool girls, he insisted on going on the roller coaster with me, especially when he wormed it out of me that I’d never been on one before and I was scared. He grabbed my hand firmly in his, told me in that no-nonsense way of his that I was going on the roller coaster, and as the car started to move, he flashed me that panty-melting grin and told me to let go and enjoy the ride. I clung to him the whole time, but I felt safe because he was next to me. And because I felt safe, I felt free to embrace the exhilaration of the ride. But this…this is different. Or is it?
“Maybe…” I hedge.
“You know I would never hurt you,” he says, his eyes serious.
“Yes. I know.” There is nothing I know more absolutely.
His eyes crinkle. “At least, not without an equal or additional amount of pleasure.” He stretches out his long, lean body on the bed and gives the leash a little tug. “Come here.”
Ka-thunk.That raspy command, coupled with his control over my body by way of the leash, has my stomach fluttering uncontrollably. I lie down next to him, and he pulls me into his arms. I could die happy, right here in this moment, with his fingertips lightly skimming over my skin, raising goose bumps of anticipation and desire.
There’s no fear or shame or self-consciousness, just a sense of rightness. It’s always been easy being with Walker; inexplicably, somehow being with him naked and wearing a collar is just as easy. He strokes up my side and down, then moves over my butt, finding a ticklish spot at the small of my back. I jolt, instinctively trying to squirm away. He tightens his arm around me and does it again. He pauses and smiles, and my stomach drops at the look in his eyes. “I like it when you move like that. I like making you squirm.” His voice has that low, gravelly, teasing tone to it that makes me want him to kiss me senseless. But he doesn’t kiss me. He just tickles me again. And again.
“Stop!” I gasp. I’m wiggling in earnest now, but the more I try to get away, the firmer his grip on me becomes, as he holds me fast and continues to torture me.
“What are you gonna do about it?” He’s found another spot now, and he grins wickedly as he scrapes his nails lightly over the sensitive area.
“I’ll scream,” I threaten with a giggle. “I’ll scream bloody murder and Kevin will come and save me.”
“Hmm. In that case…” He picks up the strap-looking thing with the ball and dangles it in front of my face. “That’s what a ball gag is for.” He gently pushes it between my lips and fastens it behind my head. It feels huge in my mouth, and I suddenly can’t swallow. Tendrils of panic lick at me. It’s invasive, stretching my jaw uncomfortably and filling up my entire mouth. I want to tell Walker to take it off, but I can’t speak. I’ve never felt so vulnerable or out of control before. Noticing my wild-eyed look, he quickly unbuckles it and removes the gag from my mouth.
