Page 76 of Airborne
She walked through the past several months, stumbling over the rocks of confusion. His unpredictable behavior held new meaning.
“Not sure what tomorrow holds,” he said. “Did a reporter need a notch on his résumé, and I drew the short stick? With answers, I could move forward.” He gripped his head.
“Did the doctor give you a prescription for pain?”
“Yes, but I don’t know how my body will react. I might take the meds once I’m home.”
“You could lean back on the sofa. Close your eyes.”
“I will. But first, I need to finish what I started.” He raised his head. “The one thing I have is knowledge and experience about viruses to add quality of life, not take it. But my efforts are futile. The CDC isn’t sure my association with them is appropriate, and I understand. I can’t be trusted when I’m viewed as a killer. The uncertainty makes me crazy. Always has. On the flight here, the truth hit me hard. I weighed my future or lack of and the vicious accusations, and my wife and unborn son are all that matter.”
Her pulse sped. Had Chad experienced an epiphany? She should divert her gaze, but the task was deemed impossible. “I went to see her, too. She said for me not to contact her again, wanted nothing to do with you or me. I assumed her grief had prompted the anger, and I’d give her time.”
“I’ll tell Tami my family is more important. I made a promise without thinking, and it caused me to break one I’d already made.”
“What are you saying?”
“I want to rebuild the trust you once had in me. When the virus predicament is over, can we find what we lost?” He bit into his lower lip. Was his hesitancy to manage the pain or form his words? “I own our problem. You’ve always put me first and sacrificed yourself.”
Heather searched for a response, but she needed prayer and time to work through her hurt and betrayal. She despised the vicious words he’d said, the ugly actions conceived and acted upon.
She studied Chad’s face, a vivid display of lined agony. Was it mental or physical? Or both?
His blue eyes clouded. “I love you, Heather. In my effort to cover my guilt, I chose to sacrifice what we’d started together. I’m sorry I hurt you and made demands that I didn’t even want. Truth is, I don’t deserve you.”
Why hadn’t she seen what Paul’s death had done to him?
“You’re not planning to give me any slack, are you?” he said.
“I share in our brokenness.”
“Not really. You encouraged my dream of medical research when friends said one doctorate was enough. You saw my passion for people who suffered with disease.” He touched his temples. “On the plane here, I remembered the night we used our budget on a movie and came back to the apartment starved. We had two pieces of bread for toast and four eggs.” Chad peered into her face. “You put the last slice of cheese on my eggs and left the heel of bread for yourself. Your unselfishness showed me the power of love, and I was afraid you’d always love me more than I could ever love you.”
Heather recalled the night of eggs and cheese. They’d been married less than two years. “We put strawberry jelly on graham crackers for dessert. Finished the jar.”
“We laughed and agreed the movie had no plot.”
Jordan opened the door. “Could we have a little while longer?” Chad said.
The door closed. The moment between them faded.
After several seconds, Chad spoke. “Is it too late for us? I’m determined to change. The future’s shaky, but I don’t want to spend it without you.”
She longed to say the words he wanted to hear, but something held her back. Was it heartbreak that he’d walk out of her life forever, and she’d never again see the man she’d promised to love? But without God as the center of their relationship, reconciliation was doomed.
“Heather, say what’s on your mind.”
She inhaled to put off a flow of tears. “First, I can’t focus on us until you’re cleared, and the FBI has made an arrest.”
“I understand. Whatever it takes.”
“Over the last several weeks, I resigned myself to raise my baby alone. Mom and Dad will help, but the responsibility falls on me.” She prayed for courage. “My son deserves a father who’s active in his life and whose priority is God.”
Hurt crested his eyes. “I can learn how to be a father. But my stand on religion hasn’t changed. If a God exists, why doesn’t He right this screwed-up world?”
“Ask Him.”
“God hasn’t ever talked to me. Will you accept a compromise?”
