Page 10 of Defying Ella
How…? Why…?
“Fuck.”
“My sentiments exactly.” It didn’t sound like Jared, lacking his fire and confidence.
He stopped next to me, his hands shaking as he reached for the door. Carefully, he closed it without disturbing the wall of frozen water.
I couldn’t stop staring at the door. Jared went back to his tea and I stared at the door wondering if it had all been a dream. If I opened it again, would we still be snowed-in? Delusional, I know, but I’d take anything if it meant not being trapped with Jared.
Frowning, I turned back to him and studied his bizarrely subdued reaction.
“Why aren’t you freaking out right now?” I padded across the floor cautiously. “We’re snowed in. I would expect you tobe more…” I paused, searching for the right word. Unhinged. Freaked. Pissed to be stuck with me. Any of them would work, but I went with none. “Why are you so calm?”
I rounded the kitchen island and promptly wished I could take the words back. He glared at the wall — and now me — while his jaw tensed and his knuckles white around the handle of the blue mug.
“Are you okay?”
“Will you shut the fuck up for once?” Jared snapped.
I flinched at the unexpected whip of sound. A crack sounded in the silence space, then the mug clattered to the worktop, and liquid splashed everywhere. I grabbed a tea towel and rushed forward, focused on catching the worst of the spillage before it caused any damage to Andy’s house.
“Jesus, read the room,” Jared said when I rounded the island and tried to clean up. He pushed me away, snatching the towel from my hands. “If I needed your help, I’d ask for it.”
I opened my mouth to argue that I wasn’t trying to helphimand his eyes narrowed, spitting fire at me.
Yesterday, I’d washed my hands of him. With detailed plans to avoid him forming in my mind, I’d let go of the combative energy I needed to constantly be on the defensive with him.
I was meant to be alone. I was meant to be on holiday with good friends.
So of course, I’d let all my walls crumble. It had been a relief, to not have to brace myself to walk into a room or school my features when I heard his voice.
A night was not enough time to put it all back up.
He hadn’t broken out any of his usual hateful barbs, yet my chest hurt, and my eyes burned.
Spinning on my heel, I rushed into the pantry that sat off the kitchen.
I just need a minute.
For a second, I let the darkness engulf me while I just breathed.
You know he’s an asshole. Nothing he says can surprise you at this point. So buck up, put on your mask, and pretend he’s a slug squashed beneath your shoe.
With the pressure easing in my chest, I got to work on the thing actually stressing me out. Surviving being trapped at all. Being trapped with Jared was a whole other level, and until I had a couple of hours alone, I couldn’t focus on it.
I flipped the light on and swept my gaze across the pantry, overflowing with tinned and canned goods. Food, tick.
Cases of water lined the floor. Water. Tick.
Some of the tension eased in my neck.
While I raced back into the main space, I started opening every single door on the upper level. I mentally itemised everything. From the corner of my eye, I noted Jared slumping on his stool, his head in his hands.
We had enough food and water. What about firewood?
How long would we be stuck?
Who did we need to call?
