Page 69 of Defying Ella
I glanced at Nia and Sophie’s hesitant but strained expressions over Mel’s shoulder. The three of them staring at me like they could pull the answers from my head if they tried hard enough reminded me of our childhood, of them looking out for me in school, protecting me. No one ever expected them to be fierce defenders; their looks were so deceptive. Nia’s short, bobbed, platinum-blonde-framed face, Sophie’s long-flowing blonde curls masking a ready-to-go-to-war energy, my sister’s glare softened by her long, mousy brown hair. None of them presented an obvious threat, but so many bullies had learnt their mistakes. It was so achingly familiar, even with Alys hanging back, uncertainty painting her face.
Keeping everything locked inside wouldn’t work. I knew it and I’d warned Jared of the consequences. It wasn’t up to me to protect him. He wouldn’t do the same for me if our roles were reversed.
“I’m an idiot.” I sighed and turned my back on them before I could absorb their pitying looks. I made my way to the sofa, trusting they’d follow.
I collapsed onto the cushion I’d spent far too much time with this week and stared up at them all.
“Where do I even start?” I shook my head, tutting at myself.
“From the beginning.” Mel sat down next to me. She rubbed a hand soothingly up my back.
That action had the power to break me too so I numbed myself to it, shoving the comfort it inspired into the cage with the rest of my useless emotions.
The girls cleared off the coffee table and took seats. Sophie perched on the arm of my sofa while Alys and Niatook a seat on the coffee table. All of them closed in around me, it loosened my tongue.
“You had history with him before I ran into Dan at the auction.”
I nodded, resignation rippling through me. “I met him in a bar in August. I didn’t recognise him, but he was… different than he is now. More open. He had this kind light in his eyes and he made me laugh.” I hated the wistful note in my voice. “It was meant to be a one-night stand, but he never left.”
My gaze tracked across my flat, memories I’d tried to wipe away dancing across the space. Him burning toast in my kitchen naked and setting off the fire alarm. Whisking me off my feet when I least expected it. Making me laugh so hard my stomach hurt.
“What went wrong?” Alys whispered. Her eyes were wide, surprised I guess. She would know the damage Jared Michaels could do unchecked.
“We were meant to meet at the pub for dinner after he had a band meeting. He said he’d pick me up. I waited an hour, and he never showed.” I shook my head, my lips tugging up in a sardonic mess of a smile as I sank back against the cushion. “I have no idea why I decided to go anyway. When I got there, I found him in a corner, his arms braced on the wall behind another woman while he whispered in her ear.”
Sophie’s breath caught. “Definitely going to investigate torture by forks.”
I shot her a grateful smile.
“What did you do?” Mel asked, her voice cracking with pain on my behalf.
“I shouted at him, called him on his shit.” I laughed, the sound no way near amused or happy. “Do you know what he said to me?”
They all shook their heads.
“I was temporary. He was just having fun.” I’d never told another soul how he’d cut me with those words. It felt weirdrepeating them to my closest friends without an ounce of emotion.
I let it hang in the room, let them draw their conclusions about what it meant, why neither of us had gotten on afterwards. Words weren’t necessary. They’d seen enough on tour.
Then I filled them in on the cabin. Shared his secrets, the way he’d made me feel, the terrifying moment I thought I might love him.
Tears shimmered in Alys’s green eyes as she watched me, chewing her nails in agitation. My sister and her friends didn’t fare much better. All of them held their breaths or grasped their fists.
I thought people were meant to feel some kind of cathartic pressure release sharing their painful shit but none of that happened. It didn’t help that silence followed while the girls’ expressions ran the gauntlet of emotions.
“Oh, Els, I’m so sorry.” Mel wrapped her arm around me, pulling me into a hug. “I knew it must have been bad but that’s… I wish it hadn’t been like that.”
“Forget the forks, where can I find a rusty bloody shovel?” Sophie spat, shooting to her feet. “High time the guys found a new drummer, don’t you think, Alys?”
Alys nodded hard. “You find the weapon. Nia’ll supply the dump location. I’ll lure him there.” She joined Sophie on her feet, each of them glowering at the walls. “I fucking knew he was a piece of shit.”
A frantic edge entered her eyes as her gaze fell on me again. “I’m going to fix this. He’s never going to hurt you again,” she promised, before turning on her heels and stalking out of the flat, her fiery hair flying behind her.
The girls watched her go open-mouthed while I spluttered in shock.
“She doesn’t actually mean she’s going to…” I couldn’t say the words. Sure, I hated him at that moment, but I didn’t want him to die. Stay far, far away from me, definitely.
“I doubt it. She’s more level-headed than that.” Nia stared at the door, a frown between her brows. “I’m going to go after her.” She stood but didn’t move any further. “I’m sorry too. If we’d know… we’d have…”
