Page 66 of Defying Ella
I didn’t want a man, anyway. Especially not the musician kind. It would never work if I got into a teacher training course, and I was thinking about that. He’d forever be travelling, and I’d never be able to leave Wales.
No, it would be better for us to end as friends. It had been fun and eye-opening, but we weren’t made for forever.
With those soul-destroying words repeating on a loop in my mind, I went to pack. Why I bothered, I didn’t know. I’d only bin it all when I got home anyway. I’d cleansed my flat of Jared months ago. No way would I undo all that by taking things that reminded me of him back.
By the time I returned, the ice wall lay in piles on the ground and a path had been cleared away from the lodge. I couldn’t spot Jared from the door, so I shrugged into my coat and boots and trekked outside.
Machines pushed the snow off the drive and parking area while men with shovels worked to free the cars. If they run after all this time under the snow, it would be a miracle.
Jared leaned against the open boot of a 4x4, seemingly unfazed by the chaos around us. His focus lay wholeheartedlyon the pretty blonde in front of him. She wore a hi-vis, with her hair pulled back and a coy smile on her lips.
When he glanced up at me, his smile faded, leaving me with the sense that I’d interrupted something.
A sharp pang hit me square in the chest. It took my breath for a second while my brain recalibrated for our new existence. Clearly, the last few days meant nothing to him.
One look at my face and he straightened. He leaned towards her, whispering something in her ear while slipping her phone back into her hands.
I might be sick.
I turned away from them. I didn’t need to see him turn back into a manwhore. Exorcising him from my mind would be the only way forward.
He pressed a hand to my back and tried to usher me away. I dodged out of his grasp, the feel of his hands on me turning my stomach even more.
“Don’t touch me,” I snapped, the words falling from my lips like a whip. “Don’t ever touch me again.”
“Els, c’mon, you knew the deal.” His eyes bore into mine, daring me to argue but also begging me not to. My brow creased with confusion. “It was just temporary.”
The words echoed in my mind, refusing to land. Temporary? I’d experienced flings and that had never been us. Not even in the first week. We were too open with each other.
“I don’t believe you.” I shook my head. Scowling at him, I stepped into his personal space. “For a couple of days, things were right, and that scares you.”
Jared chuckled, the sound mirthless. “Don’t kid yourself, Sparky.”
I’d come to love that nickname. Hearing him butcher it with his patronising, morning-after dismissal stung.
“We’re an explosion waiting to happen. Permanently attaching myself to my bandmate’s baby mamma’s sister would be asking for never-ending drama.” He crossed hisarms, a condescending smirk claiming his lips. “I’m the low maintenance type, you know that.”
My jaw dropped.Now would be a good time to get angry.
“You’re telling me that —” I gestured to the lodge, my voice flat, emotionless, “everything you said in there was a lie?”
He nodded. “Every single word.”
I studied him, absorbed his frantic almost desperate energy, searching for the truth and finding none.
“You’re lying.”
“Nope.” He let the word pop, as if he enjoyed it, ripping out my heart and grinding it into the snow beneath his boots.
Like our conversations and all our time together had been nothing but a means of entertainment.
“You know me, Els. What did you call me to Mel in Berlin?”
Nothing felt right. Not those words falling from his lips with that forced sweet smile. Not the pounding of my heart or the dryness in my mouth. How could everything fall into line and crumble so fast?
“Mr Loves and Leaves?”
My breath stopped and the pieces snapped into place like an elastic band. The blonde hovered in my periphery, her gaze focused on us.
