Page 62 of Defying Ella
“Still, better you than me.” He dropped his last pizza crust onto the plate and pushed it away.
“I was kind of hoping you’d stay over, too.”
He froze with a napkin scrunched up in his hands. Confusion rippled across his face and then his mouth started to open and closed while his cheeks reddened. I bit my cheek to hold back any laughter. Something told me he wouldn’t find his flustered state entertaining.
“Why?” he spluttered.
I shrugged. “Just thought it would be nice to spend time together outside of this place.”
“Okay but I’m not — I’d be — you don’t think — I’m terrible with kids, Ella.” His eyes widened as he spiralled into panic.
“Funny, you’re the one Phoebe always begs to join her tea parties.” And he hadn’t once turned her down. “If you can handle drinking pretend tea, I’m pretty sure you could handle a sleepover.”
“Yeah but I don’t need to play happy family with you.” He shoved his chair back and stood. “I need to…” his wide eyes flew around the room, searching desperately for something. “Call Matt.” He nodded, almost confirming his new plan to himself. “Yep. I need to call Matt. Right now.” He picked up his plate and rushed away from me.
“Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not.” He dumped his leftovers in the bin, placed the plate in the sink and snatched his phone off the counter.
Without another word, he disappeared down the stairs.
I shouldn’t assume that our new dynamic within the four walls of the lodge would follow us out into the real world. But oh how I desperately wanted it to.
Just before midnight, I knocked on his bedroom door. He hadn’t resurfaced once in the evening, and as grateful as I was to regain my access to e-books, the separation felt weird. I’d waited up, expecting him to come back upstairs and joke off his weird shift, but that never happened.
When no answer came, I sighed. Looked like we were sleeping apart for the first time in days, too.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Hours later, after a lot of tossing and turning, my bedroom door clicked shut. I frowned at the darkness with groggy eyes, but with the lights off and the windows still covered by the snow, nothing stood out.
“Jared?” I asked as I scanned the room.
Fabric ruffled next to me as the duvet pulled back and the mattress dipped. Someone’s thigh brushed mine. Despite, holding tight to the logic that the only person it could be was Jared, I still jumped.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered next to me. His hand smoothed along my stomach, urging me to lie back down. “Go back to sleep.”
I didn’t need much convincing. My body pretty much sagged with relief. I rested my head on his chest and absorbed the steady beat of his heart while my brain recalculated to the new development.
As much as I’d tried not to worry that his reaction spelt the end for us, I had very little control over my insecurities when it came to him. Every upsetting scenario under the sun had played out while I tried to fall asleep.
Any trace of sleepiness evaporated the longer I lay next to him. In fact, the need for answers squirrelled away in my head.
For a couple of minutes, I chewed my lip, debating whether I really needed to know. He’d come back to me, did it matter?
Yes, it absolutely did.
I forced myself to sit up and turn to face him. Couldn’t see a damn thing but the action gave me a small sense of strength.
“What happened upstairs?”
“Can we talk about it in the morning?” he asked, his tone wary.
“I won’t get back to sleep now unless I know.”
“Okay.” Jared sighed. “I’ll tell you, but can you lie down?” His hand brushed my arm, urging me to rest my head back on his chest.
“Fine, but no dodging the truth,” I grumbled.
