Page 83 of Defying Ella
“You sure?” His brows rose, but a slight smirk claimed his lips. I got the distinct impression he was fishing. “If I’m making you uncomfortable, I can stop.”
“I’m not uncomfortable.”
He grinned and leaned closer. This time his nose bumped against mine.
“Still certain?”
“What are you after, Jared?” I huffed.
He leaned back and searched my face. His expression softened before his fingers settled against the back of my neck, tugging me towards him.
He pressed his lips to my ear. “You.”
My breath stilled and my stomach flipped.
Then he kissed me.
Right there for all our friends and any passer-by to see. Surprise froze me for a second before the addictive glide of his lips against mine coaxed me into responding.
How could a kiss be so addictive?
I’d hoped after a month that I’d have built up at least a small bank of defences against his pull. Turns out they were nothing more than papier-mâché, waiting crumble with the right look from him.
“Oh so he’s really going for it,” someone, maybe Dan, muttered across from us.
He pulled back, his gaze roaming my face with unrestrained hope softening his features.
“What do you mean, you want me?” I asked, my voice hoarse. My pulse raced a mile a minute while I held onto my own hope with both hands.
“I’ve been a shit to you. Everyone around this table knows it.” His eyes flicked to my sister who now watched us with narrowed eyes before his focus returned to me with renewed determination. “I thought I could be happy, avoiding serious commitments and pretend everything was fine. If not for you traipsing into my life in August, I might still believe my own lie.”
“You opened my eyes, made me want to be more than the shell I was. I played the stereotypical rock star.” He smiled, tugging gently at a piece of my hair. “All it took was you and I was a goner. With your optimism, sweet smile, terrible dancing,”—everyone chuckled, including me—“and drive for an elusive purpose I’d forgotten to appreciate. I could have lost myself in you in August.”
His smile faded and his green eyes shimmered. “And that terrified me. Even with the anxiety and our creeping fame, I’d never felt so massively out of control.” His lips twisted while my heart pounded and my mind struggled to anticipate his turns. “Turns out the unpredictable drummer actually likes life to be a little predictable. Who would have thought?” He shook his head before grasping my hand. “My therapist helped me figure that one out.”
He’d started out so positively, but the more he talked the more a lump of dread formed in my throat. Logic dictated that he wouldn’t invite me out to break my heart in front of all our friends, but my entire body braced for it all the same.
“That’s great, Buttercup, but I don’t know where you’re going with this.”
He chuckled. “Sorry, getting a bit off track. My point is, you’re important to me. You shake me up and you make me want to be better. What I did to deserve running into you, I have no idea, but I’ll never question it again.” He lifted my hand and grazed a kiss along my knuckles. “A month ago, I couldn’t be who you needed. Now, I know I can. I’ve spent far too long missing you, terrified I’d be too late, but most people don’t get a second chance. If you’ll give me a third chance, I know I can’t fuck this up again.”
No one in our group moved, including me. I stared at him, my eyes burning with unshed tears while my grip on hope slackened with every word.
“The first two times, I failed from the get-go by keeping our relationship secret.” His gaze flicked to his best friends and band mates, watching us with their own hopeful expressions. When his focus returned to me, he smirked. “So I figured the best way to start this one would be to ask you a very important question with an audience.”
The girls gasped and Jared shot them a sharp look. “Notthatquestion. I’m trying not to scare her away.”
They nodded, sheepish expressions muting their delight.
Jared squeezed my hand, drawing my attention back to him. “I’ll completely understand if you say no, but I’m hoping you feel the same as me.” He swallowed, the words seemingly stuck in his throat.
“Stop stalling and ask her,” Ryan shouted. A chorus of ‘yes’s answered him.
“I’m starting to regret doing this with an audience.” Jared rolled his eyes but I couldn’t miss the sweat forming on his brow.
“Ask me.” I squeezed his hand, hoping to encourage him.
A stunning smile lit up his face and he leaned towards me.
