Page 53 of Defying Ella
“I promise I will, but be quick. Your turn ends when I roll the dice.” He released my hand and picked up the dice, shuffling them in his grip threateningly.
“Fine,” I sighed. “Do you suffer with anxiety?”
“Geez, don’t waste it.” Disappointment swept across his expression. “You can do better than asking questions with obvious answers. Of course I have issues with anxiety. You already knew that.”
He rolled the dice while I silently agreed that I had wasted my turn, even if his answer did confirm my suspicions.
When he rolled a three and landed on one of my properties,both excitement and dread unfurled inside of me. Yay, money, but what on earth would he ask?
“Eighty pounds, please.”
“With pleasure.” He gathered the notes, buzzing with anticipation while I continuously swallowed my nerves. He handed the money over, purposefully brushing my fingers as I accepted them. “What was your first impression of me?”
“From the bar?”
He nodded, barely containing his amusement at my stalling. I studied him, uncertainty worming through me while I hunted for the right words. I had to be honest, but did he actually want it? What if he hated it?
“Time’s ticking, Els.”
“Okay, you were hot.”
Jared smirked. “Try something a little less obvious.”
“Ego much?” I rolled my eyes and waited for him to deny it. Of course, he didn’t, just smiled like he could see straight through my stalling tactics.
I’d already shared some secrets with him, what did it matter if he knew a few more?
Logically, I knew it didn’t matter, but squashing my learned caution proved tricky. I needed to silence the tiny voice screaming that he’d use it against me, even though I knew things had changed between us.
“You—” I croaked before clearing my throat. “I thought you were the most genuine person I’d ever met, and before we even talked, I was drawn to you.” My gaze roamed his face, searching for the tiniest change. Jared’s mouth dropped open and he leaned towards me, transfixed. “You smiled at me, and I somehow knew we were kindred spirits.” I sighed and glanced away from him, ducking my head. “It’s stupid, I know.”
“Not stupid at all.” Jared caught my hand, tugging until I looked at him. “I’d gotten used to not trusting anyone by the time we met. You could say I was paranoid some fling wouldfigure out all my secrets if I stayed too long, and out me for a fraud of a rock star to the world and the band.” His focus dropped to our entwined hands before jumping back to my face. “You were the first person I let myself fully relax with in years. So no, I don’t think it’s stupid.”
My heart rate sped up beneath his soft eyes. I’d never thought Jared would admit to sharing my feelings from that first week. Didn’t even dare to dream of it. Yet here we were, walls down and hearts open. I didn’t even try to hold back my delighted smile.
“And no, before you ask, I never felt like that with Emily,” he grumbled, his tone hardening.
My brows rose. I hadn’t planned to ask, but seeing as he’d offered it up…
“But you did have feelings for her?”
“I thought I did.” His gaze dropped to the board. “But I couldn’t…”
But he couldn’t let her in.
I squeezed his hand before releasing it to reach for the dice. “Shall we roll?”
He studied my expression for a second before nodding. I couldn’t miss the relief relaxing his features. He gestured to the board and leaned back in his chair.
I rolled the dice and took my turn blind. When I landed on another of his properties, I didn’t swear this time. Instead, I handed over the money chewing over how to get more answers out of him.
“Did the anxiety start when the band got signed or before?”
Smiling, he shook his head at me before accepting the notes.
“It got worse when the band signed.” He shrugged and his brows creased. “I have something to lose now, remember?”
His face softened and a tiny part of me morbidly hoped he included me in that grouping.Too soon.
