Page 38 of Defying Ella
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Inky blackness engulfed us and the entire lodge. Not even the glare of the moon against the snow outside could break through. Jared swore, his chair legs scraping back, but I didn’t move an inch. What would be the point? I’d only end up with a gash in my leg or something.
“Why isn’t the backup generator coming on?” Jared asked, his voice shaky beneath his loud bravado.
I chewed my lip while he scrambled around the upper level trying to do who knew what. To tell him my suspicions or not? If I did, he’d only panic harder, but outright lying did not sit right.
“I think there were some candles in the pantry,” I said instead, stalling until my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I pushed my chair back, using the table to guide the distance. “Why don’t we get some light before we hunt for a generator?”
With a fuzzy layout of the main floor pulled from my memories, I slowly made my way across the open space. Jared swore again when he banged into something, and I froze.
“You okay?” I squinted in the direction of his voice.
“I’m fine,” he growled. “The kitchen island just got me.”
Any other day, I’d find that funny. With my worst fear coming true, I didn’t have it in me. Plus, one chuckle from me and Jared would blow up. The slight tremor of panic already leaked from his words.
For a few moments, the only sounds were that of drawers banging open, items scrambling against each other in what I assumed was Jared’s search for supplies and my ragged breathing. With my hands gripping the edge of the island, I guided myself around the kitchen.
Despite my slow movements, I must have completely misjudged the area. My forehead stung as I stumbled into Jared, crashing into his chest. He grunted before his arms wrapped around me.
“Shit, Els. Are you okay?”
I nodded against his chest, reluctant to step away from the heat of his embrace. His heart pounded beneath my ear while ragged breaths escaped him. He shouldn’t make me feel safe after everything. I knew it, my mind knew it, but my heart and body had other ideas.
He rubbed my back, his racing heart calming and his tense muscles relaxing against me. Maybe I wasn’t the only one losing control.
“I should go find the candles,” I whispered.
His grip loosened. “Yeah,” he stepped away, clearing his throat, “I’ll keep hunting for matches.”
Any progress I’d made gaining back some sight failed the second I stepped into the closed-off space. Thankfully, everything in the room lived on shelves and nothing waited to trip me up. I rushed to the area I’d last seen candles, my hands fumbling along the shelves, searching for anything with the right shape and feel.
I blew out a breath when the smooth waxy texture of a candle scraped against my nails.
“I’ve got the candles,” I called as I gathered as many as I could carry. “Did you find matches?”
Back in the main space, shadowy outlines emerged, giving me enough direction to walk with confidence. Jared still stood at the island, his shoulders slumped and his head hung low while he gripped the counter’s edge. I repeated my question and he jolted.
He slid a small package towards me without a word and turned his back. His fingers dragged through his hair but I couldn’t read him. I placed the candles down quickly and snatched up the box of matches.
Jared spun around at the first hiss of a spark. I lit three tower candles in quick succession. The rapid stutter of my heart eased a little as the small flames encased us in a circle of light.
“We can spread these out across the house until the power comes back on.” We wouldn’t talk about the fact my gut said it wouldn’t come back. Jared’s entire demeanour screamed that one wrong move would send him spiralling. “Why don’t you light the fire while I place them?”
He nodded and set to it, muttering to himself the whole time. I tried to block him out as I arranged groups of candles on plates around the most used areas of the upper section. Then I placed a candle and a box of matches in each of our rooms, frowning at the nip in the air. Of course, the heating had died, but did the house have to cool down so fast?
By the time I returned, Jared sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. I collapsed onto the cushion next to him and lowkey luxuriated in the warmth of the fire.
“Well, when you invited me to dinner, I did not expect it to be by candlelight.”
He grunted, completely ignoring my attempt to lighten the mood.
“Did you say something about dessert?”
I couldn’t miss his frown when he turned his head toward me. Unfortunately, I didn’t have it in me to brace for him flipping out. I’d been far too open with him over dinner, sharedtoo much of myself. If he wanted a fight to make himself feel better, he would have to argue with himself.
“How can you think about food right now?”
