Page 108 of The Duke's Rules Of Engagement
“What do you want, then?” she asked him breathlessly.
He took a step toward her. “You.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. “Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because I lied to you. I betrayed you. I’m exactly the kind of woman you donotwant.”
“You never lied to me. You withheld the truth from me—someone you didn’t know well—to secure the happiness of someone you’ve known and loved for much of your life.”
“An omission of truth is as bad as a lie,” she said, then wondered why she was arguing against her own cause.
“No, it isn’t.” His fingers went under her chin, gently tilting her head up so she was looking at him. “I was developing feelings for you,” he said softly, “deeper than I’ve ever felt for anyone. But those feelings terrified me. I have always believed what Fanny and my uncle said about me as a boy. I truly thought I didn’t deserve love and that there wasn’t a soul on earth who would ever really love me. When I heard the truth of why you wanted me to marry Miss Cherrington, I was quick to use your deception to prove my hypothesis. I am not lovable, not really. I will never have a love like my parents did.”
“That’s not true,” Jo breathed. “It never has been.”
Matthew rubbed his knuckles over her cheek. “You have always believed that, haven’t you?”
“Always.”
“It is not as easy for me to believe, though. When Charles Cherrington told me I was to marry Harriet to lift his family up out of poverty and to allow him to marry Lilly, I equated your actions in facilitating the match to Fanny Fleming’s treachery. But they weren’t the same at all.”
“They weren’t,” she said, her tone pleading. “Truly, they weren’t. I meant no harm.”
“I know that now,” he said.
“From the beginning, I was determined that you and the woman I found for you would find happiness together. That you would have that love match you thought you could never have. The first day we met, I promised myself I’d make it so.”
“Even though I told you it would never be so?”
“Especiallyafter you said that. And then, I was hoping to make it happen with Harriet, who seemed so perfect for you.”
He laughed. “What about now?”
She couldn’t breathe. “I still hope—more desperately than ever—that you make a love match.” Her eyes fluttered away, but he nudged at her chin, forcing her gaze back to his.
“I hope so, too,” he said.
“I vow I will never deceive you again, Matthew. I will never hurt you again. I’m so sorry.”
“And I’m sorry, too, sweetheart. For judging you too quickly and too harshly. I vow that I will trust you from now on. Your heart is the sweetest one I’ve ever known. I will hold onto it and nurture that sweetness for the rest of my life, if you allow me to.”
She nodded. “I will. For as long as you will have me.”
“For life, then?” When her brows drew together in confusion, he said, “Marry me, Jo.”
She lurched back. “What do you mean?”
“Marry me. Make me the happiest man alive. Become my bride.”
In an instant, he’d stitched her heart back together, but the stitches were already frayed, beginning to rip apart all over again.
Because what he said was impossible.
“I…can’t.” It nearly killed her to say it, but it was true. She was a romantic at heart, but she desperately gripped her last shreds of practicality.
“Why?” he gritted out, his expression going from hopeful to dark in an instant.
