Page 92 of The Duke's Rules Of Engagement
Why the hell would he not? Because he was afraid to break the arbitrary rules he’d drawn up after he’d nearly married and lived a miserable life with a heartless, cruel creature who’d only wanted him for his title and fortune? Or because Jo didn’t fit into the mold of what society expected of a duchess?
He wasn’t here to satisfy the pride of the heartbroken youth he’d once been, and he certainly wasn’t here for society’s approval.
What about whathewanted? What he needed?
He wanted Jo. Hell, heneededher. With her, he’d be content. Happy. If he was lucky, he might be able to make her happy and content as well. She loved him, too—she’d never said so, but he knew it. He could see it when she looked at him with those soft gray eyes of hers. He could feel it in her touch and hear it in her words.
He’d been hurting her with his ignorance. With the fact that he’d failed to see what she could be to him. What shewasto him.
She was THE ONE. With every single letter capitalized.
He never wanted to hurt her again. He would do whatever necessary to wipe that wistful melancholy from her expression. He would devote himself to seeing her eyes shining with happiness and a smile on her face.
Rising, he crumpled Fanny’s letter in his fist, walked over to the fireplace, and tossed it into the flames.
As he watched it spark then burst into a little ball of fire, determination suffused him. Anticipation sizzled through his veins.
Hewasgoing to propose tomorrow. Not to Harriet Cherrington, but to Joanna Porter.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lord Coleton and Matthew sat on side-by-side leather chairs at the gaming hell, watching the “festivities” from the sidelines. There had been a constant stream of men approaching to converse with them, so Matthew hadn’t had a chance to speak with his friend one on one.
Annoyed by the current conversation—which entailed two men, corseted so tightly their cheeks were red and they appeared to struggle to breathe, trading gossip about yet another actress being passed around among the male members of theton—Matthew glanced around. The place was full of cigar smoke, of men sipping dark drinks, and of laughter and groans. Charles Cherrington was here, well into his cups, playing a game of whist at a nearby table and laughing uproariously.
Cole had invited Jameson and Winthrop tonight, as well, but Jameson hated the hells even more than Matthew did, and Winthrop was leaving tomorrow morning to spend the remainder of the summer at Pleasant Hill, his estate in Hertfordshire.
Before heading to the gaming hell, Matthew had stopped by Winthrop’s townhouse to say goodbye.
“If spending time with your uncle becomes too intolerable,” Winthrop had said, “come out and see me.”
Matthew shook his head. “I am doing my best to avoid the man. In any case, I have business in London. I cannot leave right now.”
Then he told Winthrop that he’d finally unraveled his confusion about his forthcoming proposal.
“I have to admit some relief,” Winthrop told him. “I wasn’t certain about Miss Cherrington.”
“Why not?”
Winthrop shrugged. “She seems cheerful enough, but rather aloof at the same time.”
“Does she?” Matthew frowned, realizing he hadn’t even attempted toknowher. Then again, she hadn’t attempted to know him, either. “Perhaps you’re right. And though she outwardly appeared to be perfect duchess material, she wasn’t perfect for me.”
“No,” Winthrop had agreed, “she wasn’t. I’m happy for you, Crest. I like Miss Porter. She’ll keep you on your toes.”
Winthrop was certainly correct about that.
Now, there seemed to be a lull in the line of gentlemen coming to talk to Cole and him about frivolous things. Matthew took a breath that wasn’t full of pomade and perfume for the first time in over an hour and said, “You know I only came tonight because my uncle is in town.”
Cole laughed. “I know. I don’t care, though. Just glad you’re here.”
“Are you thinking of going out to Pleasant Hill?” As the stink of London grew in proportion to the rise in temperature, people were beginning to leave town in droves.
Cole shrugged. “Maybe later in the summer. For now, I am content to stay here.” His smile was suggestive, and Matthew wondered if Cole was pursuing a paramour.
“I see.”
Cole took a sip of his brandy. “So, have you proposed yet?”
