Page 30 of The Duke's Rules Of Engagement
Suddenly, Jo’s throat felt thick. Was she that transparent? Was it obvious to everyone how deeply Crestmont intrigued her? She swallowed hard. “Well, as you said, it was a famous scandal. And I’m a matchmaker. I make a study of matches that fall apart so I can be the best at what I do and it never happens with any of the matches I make.”
“Of course.”
Jo straightened and narrowed her eyes at her mother. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking,” Mama said patiently, “that I have noticed in the past week or so how you come to life whenever the Duke of Crestmont is mentioned. You become animated and passionate. I am starting to think that you might be developing a bit of a tendre for him.”
“Mama!”
The older woman shrugged. “Perhaps I am only imagining it.”
“You most certainly are,” Jo said, trying to be convincing, but half convinced she was completely failing. “I am a professional matchmaker. I donotdevelop tendres for clients. Heaven forbid.”
“Mmm, yes,” Mama murmured. “Heaven forbid, indeed. The Duke of Crestmont would never be appropriate for you, Jo. But perhaps a different client will walk in one day… What about Mr. Pellegrini?”
She thought of Mr. Pellegrini and laughed. “Mr. Pellegrini is lovely, but he is three-and-forty and two inches shorter than me. And…well…” The truth was, while she did like him very much, she wasn’t attracted to him in the least.
Not like she was attracted to the Duke of Crestmont.
“Well, maybe it is only my old heart wishing for you to find someone to fill yours.”
That was easy to respond to, because this was a response she’d been giving since she was twenty and realized that to the majority of the gentlemen browsing in the marriage mart, she was too plain, too plump, and too poor. Seven years ago, she’d begun to come to terms with her fate—that she was doomed to be a wallflower and a spinster for the rest of her life.
It was then that she began to understand that she could not and would not base her future happiness on her ability to find a husband. She refused to doom herself to feelings of inadequacy for things that were out of her control. She had determined that she’d find happiness in other pursuits. And she had.
“But my clients fill my heart, Mama. And so do you and Lilly, Bess, and Mrs. Ferguson. Between all of you, my heart is filled to the brim.” It was true. She loved her clients, and she loved her family. Her heartwasfull.
Except when it wasn’t. There were some moments, those times that mostly came at night, when the fullness drained away and a heavy blanket of loneliness covered her like a shroud.
But it was a shroud she thrust away. She rejected it, kicked it off like a restless sleeper on a hot night.
“Oh, my dear child. You have clearly never been in love.”
“I don’t need to be in love to lead a full life.”
Her mother patted her hand and made a noncommittal humming noise in her throat.
“In any case,” Jo said, trying to redirect the conversation to its original subject, “I stepped out of bounds with the duke, and I thought he would most certainly dismiss me. But I just received a note from him. He is asking for a list of potential brides on Friday.”
“That’s only a few days away. Will you have enough time?”
“I think I might be able to come up with a few options by Friday.” Jo handed her mother her book. “I’m just glad he’s coming back.”
If he’d been truly angry with her, he wouldn’t be coming back. But he was, and that made her unaccountably happy. Smiling, she wished her mother good night and headed upstairs.
“Jo.” Lilly laid a sheet of paper on her lap as Jo opened the door and peeked inside.
Jo fervently hoped she wasn’t reading that awful letter from Charles for the thousandth time. “How are you?”
Lilly shrugged and waved her hand listlessly. “Oh, you know…”
“Wretched?”
“Well, yes. But I’ve been thinking of how Mrs. Ferguson told me I needed to be strong. She’s right, you know.”
“I do know.”
“I’m young,” Lilly continued. “I shall find someone else to love.”
