Page 72 of Fighting for Irish
She did know it. How many times over the years had she wished her reality was something better? Hundreds. And yet it remained just as ugly as it had been the day before.
“I don’t understand. How?”
“It doesn’t matter how.”
Kat turned her body, resting her left arm along the seat back. “Of course it matters. Are we talking something like a stabbing? Or something like you gave her a bite of your cashew chicken not knowing she was deathly allergic to nuts?”
Irish dragged a taped hand down his extra-scruffy face. Suddenly he looked exhausted. But not the kind he’d have from a long day or a tough fight. The bone-weary kind a person gets when he’s been carrying a heavy weight on his shoulders for too damn long.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Nothing can bring her back.”
Scooting into the middle of the bench, she used her left hand to lightly massage the base of his neck. “I know, but it’s not her I’m worried about. You’ll be joining her before too long if you continue to live with this guilt you don’t deserve.”
He scoffed. “I deserve every fucking drop of guilt I have.”
“It must have been an accident. You would never hurt a friend intentionally.”
“Not for nothing, sweetheart, but you don’t know that.”
“I see,” she said stiffly as she resumed her position on the passenger side. The man had a knack for firing her blood, only this time it wasn’t with desire. He was pissing her off. “I guess I have to wonder how much of what you’ve said to me is total bullshit, then.”
Irish cut her a sidelong glance. “What are you talking about?”
“You said I should trust my instincts when I recognize the goodness in others, but clearly you didn’t mean it.”
“The hell I didn’t.”
“Then you need to acknowledge that I recognize the goodness in you. And, unless you can tell me why I should feel differently, there is no way I’ll ever believe you killed that girl.”
He jerked the wheel to the right, barely making the exit they’d almost passed. If not for her quick reflexes, she’d be facedown in his lap right now. Pulling onto the shoulder of the off-ramp, he cut the engine and turned to face her, anger edging his features.
“You sure you wanna hear this?”
She banished the trace of uncertainty from the back of her mind and met his challenge with a lift of her chin. “Absolutely.”
A hint of sadness flashed through his eyes before the hardness returned. “Fine. Like I said, our mothers were close friends, so Janey was like my third sister and Joey felt the same about mine. We didn’t live in a great neighborhood, so there were plenty of times when we had to protect ourselves and our sisters. But no matter what, Joey and I never ran scared. We dealt with every bully and badass. Only his way of dealing with things was different from mine.”
Kat’s pulse picked up speed, making her cut throb with every beat and her breathing shallow. She dared not move or ask any questions. Irish had finally decided to open up to her. Regardless of whether the decision was borne of frustration or not, she wasn’t about to look the pissed-off gift horse in the mouth.
“Joey preferred to talk his way out of things. Not that he was afraid to fight, ’cause the guy could throw down if he had to. But fighting was always his last resort. Cool as a cucumber, that was Joey.
“Then there was me. I had a short fuse with heavy hands, and I never hesitated to use them. Everyone knew, they fucked with me I’d fuck with them right back. Joey was the peacemaker and I was the brawler, so it was no surprise that he became a cop and I became a fighter.”
A semi passed them, rocking the car slightly in its wake. Irish looked over to watch it stop at the intersection and make the turn. Kat held her breath and hoped he wouldn’t change his mind about talking. She couldn’t let it go anymore. She had to know why he thought himself capable of killing anyone, much less his best friend’s little sister.
Continuing to stare out the front window, he spoke softly. “Joey always said that one day I’d hurt the wrong person if I didn’t learn to control my temper. That it was inevitable. ” His gaze dropped to his hands, still wrapped in the tape, and became distant. As though he could see the past on the overlapping strips of white across his palms. “He was right.”
Kat scooted closer and placed her hands in his. He curled his fingers over them, giving a quick squeeze. “Tell me what happened.” He shook his head and started to turn away, but she pulled his hands in until he stopped and looked at her. “Aiden, please.”
He swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “Joey became a cop, but Janey went the other way. She skipped school and hung around with the wrong kids. Got hooked on crystal meth.”
Oh, God.Now she understood a little better why he’d gotten so upset at the thought of her having a part in distributing the drug for Sicoli.
“But we never stopped loving her just ’cause she lost her way, you know?”
“Of course not.”
He nodded, almost in relief that she understood. “So anyway, this one night I was celebrating a pretty big win at our local pub. Joey had a shift that night, but I was with Jax and Xander. They were still in training so they weren’t drinking, but I got hammered. I saw Janey walk in with a guy I’d heard was her new boyfriend, but I didn’t give a damn about him. I was so happy to see her I gave her a big hug and kiss, and we talked for a long time before I was dragged away for more celebrating.
