Page 253 of Savior
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
DEAN
The slight breeze, warm against my face, carries with it the fragrance of Peonies. Her favorite flower. The arrangements she’d call beautiful, are all around me as I stare down at my dress shoes and slacks with blurry vision. I’m wearing the black suit I wore on our first date. The same suit I wore when I asked her to marry me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I keep my chin down to avoid my crew seeing the tears that are once again, falling freely down my face.
I don’t know why it still bothers me. The thought of my MC brothers seeing me cry. God knows, I cried a lot the night Vanna and I were torn apart from each other in that hospital. I thought I had known loss and pain before that night. I was wrong. So, fucking wrong. I cried until I collapsed and my body was physically unable to shed another tear. I’m surprised I hadn’t been committed. That night my heart and sanity shattered, and every Demon I’ve carried inside my whole life, descended upon me all at once to claim what remained of my broken soul, once and for all.
When a soulmate is being ripped from your life… and there’s not a goddamned thing within your power that you can do about it, nothing you can do to protect them, nothing you can do to ease their suffering or keep them here with you… That’s real pain. Real excruciating agony. A torment I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.
I now know that pain, intimately. It’s something that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.
A small hand gently wraps around my two fingers dangling at my side, giving my arm a slight tug to grab my attention.
“Are you okay, Uncle Dean?” Maddie whispers to me. Her little face peering up at me through dark eyes full of concern. “Vanna wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
My throat is too painfully tight to speak, so I simply nod, rubbing the back of her soft little hand with my thumb, in a feeble attempt to ease her worry over me.
“Are you ready to let the pain go away?” Maddie asks.
All I can do is stare into those dark little eyes that remind me so much of Vanna’s. Deep, soulful brown eyes. Wise beyond her years and so full of life, mystery and unconditional love. The painful lump in my throat isn’t going anywhere, and so I kneel to wrap my arms around her small frame, dressed in a frilly little black dress with a white satin bow at the small of her back. She holds me in return for a few moments, before we part. Her little hand reaching to my face to wipe my silent tears away.
Maddy smiles at me with that pure innocence only children possess. “Vanna is an angel.”
Of course, she’s an angel. Vanna’s always been my angel. And she always will be, now.
“Come on, sweetheart.” Cherry says, coming up behind Maddie to take her little hand. “It’s almost time.” Cherry’s wearing a black dress, too. A matching white satin sash with a bow at her back as well. I watch as she leads Maddie away from me.
Viking and Axel are wearing black suits too, approaching me next as I straighten to stand.
“Pull yourself together, Bro.” Viking sighs, shoving a handkerchief at me. “She hasn’t even walked down the aisle yet and you’re a fuckin’ mess… Such a fuckin’ pussy.”
Axel nails him in the ribs with an elbow jab, shooting him a look as I wipe my face off. “It’s fuckin’ normal to cry at weddings, dude.” He says in my defense.
“Yeah. For chicks.” Viking grunts, though with a slight grin that lets me know he’s only fucking with me.
“Just wait.” I’m finally able to speak, though my voice is a bit strangled. “Your fucking day is coming, and I cannot wait to break your balls when it does.”
“I told you, don’t fucking hex me, bro.” Viking blows out an irritated huff as I hold out his handkerchief to him. “Keep it. I’ve seen her. You’re gonna fuckin’ need it.” He says, head shaking. “She’s a fuckin’ knock-out.”
“Maddie says she looks like an angel.” I clear the grogginess from my throat and silently pray I’ll be able to say my vows with clear conviction, when the time comes. Which according to Cherry, will be very soon.
A prospect jogs over to let us know things are about to kick off, before he takes a seat in the reception area set up on the green lawn of the Arboretum. Viking takes his place inside the large, white marble garden gazebo, where he will be officiating our wedding. It’s covered in Vanna’s favorite, blush pink peonies. Axel takes his place by my side, as my best man.
I glance briefly around the location of our ceremony. My entire crew is in attendance, as well as our mutual friends, Derek and his sister Latisha. Vanna’s boss friend, Laura, and her coworker pal, Ethan, are in attendance as well. My brother, Daniel, who made sure Maddie would be able to perform her duties as our flower girl this evening, is seated among our friends and family also. He shoots me a smile and a chin lift, as if to say there are no hard feelings about not being my best man. We both know it’s going to take more time, before, and if, we ever really consider each other brothers, again. At least we’re both working towards a lasting reconciliation. I wish I could say the same for Vanna’s family. Though an olive branch had been extended, they chose not to attend.
Sleeping soundly in his little carrier, seated between a watchful Viper and his lovely wife, Rosita, who happens to be holding their own sleeping baby girl cradled in her arms, is our now six-month-old son.
Erik Ace Keegan.
My eyes settle on the little miracle Vanna and I created together, and I thank whatever higher powers exist, that he and Vanna survived. Before my mind can drag me back to the painful memories of that night he was ripped from her womb, Maddie catches my attention at the far end of the white aisle, leading up to me. She’s got a basket full of flower petals, beaming an infectious smile, ear to ear.
Soft, instrumental music begins to play from a portable stereo, as Maddie begins her journey down the aisle, dropping flower petals and sprigs of herbs as she goes, smiling back at everyone as if she’s the star of the show. Daniel watches her with a pride that’s unmistakable, and as Maddie completes her wedding day duty, taking a seat beside him and looking up at him adoringly, a part of me forgives him just a little bit more.
Cherry is soon to follow, holding a small Boquete of pale pink peonies. She walks down the aisle next, coming to stand before me.
“I’m so happy for you.” She whispers, her watery emerald eyes causing mine to tear up again as well. She takes my hand, squeezing my fingers. “You deserve this, Dean. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I’m so glad Vanna’s the one to give it to you.”
I bend to meet her and she places a chaste kiss upon my cheek, before she releases my hand and takes her place as Vanna’s Maid of Honor.
