Page 35 of Miss Behaved
Sure, I’m not big on relationships. I can’t even remember how many years it’s been since I’ve given one a shot. But I don’t pursue women with ill intention. I’m upfront, tell them when I like them, tell them what I expect. It’s not my fault if they think it’ll turn into more and get disappointed when it doesn’t.
Right?
I need this orientation to end fast so I can get my feet in the air. Being around Monica has my head spinning. The bad guy, the good guy, the good-time guy. In a matter of days I don’t know who I am anymore.
“All right, who wants to go first?” Ry says. His eyes land on Monica, but she doesn’t raise her hand.
She may be playing confident, but her knuckles are nearly white where she’s gripping the wooden railing, and her teeth grind behind her smile.
It had been my plan walking in to go first. Get me up and away as fast as humanly possible. But standing next to Monica, I hesitate, because there’s no way I’m hopping on the line not knowing if she’s going to be okay.
Yhani bounces to the front and offers herself up. She’s a tiny thing, even compared to Monica, and barely twenty. She hit it big with a novel she self-published as a teen and has been exploding with a younger demographic ever since.
Monica spins on her heels and darts away the moment Yhani is hooked up and at the ledge.
“Mon,” I call after her.
I jog up beside her and reach out for her elbow, but she spins before I make contact. Panic is flooding her face.
“What was I thinking? I hate heights. Can’t even change the burned-out light bulb in my entryway because it involves too many rungs of my ladder. And somehow I thought this was a good idea.” She shakes her hands, and her shoulders do a shimmy. “Take a risk, Mon. Have some fun, Mon. What made me think this was the right answer? I should have just listened to Luce. At least sex involves both feet on the ground—or, well, you know what I mean.”
I’m not sure how we got from zip-lining to sex.
She wraps her arms over her stomach, and I hold the tips of her elbows in my hands, bringing us close enough that I can feel her breath racing in and out.
“Monica, breathe,” I say. Her lashes flutter up, and she pins my heart in my chest when she looks at me with liquid heat in her eyes. “You don’t have to do this, so just take a moment and remember that. You can walk away right now, and it won’t make a difference to anyone.”
“But—”
I hold up a finger to cut her off. “But if you want to, you can. If this is something you need to do to work through whatever it is that’s going on, then I know you are capable of doing it. And I’ll be right here with you.”
“It’s a lot farther down than I thought it would be.” She breathes out a laugh.
“It’s the Grand Canyon,” I tell her. “Kinda lives up to its name.”
“I see that.”
She looks out over the expanse of desert brush and rock to where the flat land drops sharply off. This far away, there’s no seeing the bottom.
“Look at me,” I say, tugging her chin up with my thumb. Those doe eyes lock on mine. “Remember fifth grade, when Sammy got upset up on the monkey bars and she wouldn’t come down? And you climbed up there, even though you were sweating, just to talk to her.”
“I was drenched. That was gross.” She grimaces.
“You were being a good friend,” I say. “It didn’t matter that you were scared, or that you were gonna get some serious pit stains.”
She rolls her eyes.
“You did it anyway, and you know why?” I inch in closer.
“Because I was a good friend?”
“Sure, that, but also, you’re fearless.” The breeze kicks a curl into her lashes, and I push it away. “You’ve got an amazing mind; it’s one of the many things I’ve always loved about you. But when you let it stop for a minute, when you just embrace the quiet and do without thinking—God, woman, you can do fucking anything, do you know that?”
Monica swallows hard, drawing my attention to her puffy lips and her long, gorgeous neck. Fear and adrenaline pulse between us, and my heart beats so hard I’m almost sure she can hear it. I trace my fingers from the point of her shoulder back down her arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind.
“Do you mean that?” she whispers, letting herself go and reaching her hands out to my chest.
I nod.
