Page 58 of Miss Behaved
“I won’t,” I say, but my voice and solace are both cracking.
“When’s the last time you saw your mom smile?” he asks. “And I’m not talking about now, with her new shiny fucking life. I’m talking about before she left.”
I try to think of a time when we were a family and not three parties at war with each other. I try to remember my mom happy in the presence of my dad, my parents loving each other.
“I can’t,” I say, and it’s the cold hard truth.
It wasn’t until we landed in California that Mom got rid of what I thought was a permanent frown on her face. She pulled over to the first beach we came across and climbed out of the car like her body was being drawn to the ocean. Her sandals got lost in the sand somewhere along the way. And by the time she made it to the ocean, her bare feet sunk in, and she let the waves drag away all her sadness.
Mom and I stayed on that beach until the sun set. And by the time we got back in the car, her shoes were long gone, but she was finally smiling again. And even if she didn’t stay in California, instead coming back to Seattle, she left her sadness forever in that ocean and in Anacortes with my father.
“You think you’re better than me,” Dad says. He stands up and heads to the railing on the porch, leaning on it like he can’t stand the weight of his own body. “Then prove it. And leave the girl be.”
24
Monica
“Ireallyneedtostop blindly getting into cars with people before I end up buried in the desert,” I say to Carson when he still won’t tell me where we’re going.
“Am Ipeoplein this scenario? Because I’m a little offended.” The grin on his face says otherwise as he reaches over and takes my hand in his. “Besides, if recent experience has taught me anything, you’re the one with a secret murderous streak.”
It’s easy, falling into this pattern with him, comfort and familiarity twisting between us. I almost forget we’re inside the bubble of this trip and running off the high of it. Knowing it’s temporary, but not ready for it to pop just yet.
“You aren’t worried about missing a whole day of the conference?” I ask.
“Do I look worried?” He squeezes my fingers and lifts an eyebrow at me. “Oh no, missing a whole day of silent-room writing exercises. Like I can’t do that by myself back at home.”
He kind of has a point. The final day is meant to be the culmination of inspiration, where we spend time working on our actual projects, using what we’ve drawn from the week to fill the page.
Technically, it’s nothing that can’t be done from home. I’ve just never been much of a rule breaker, so I can’t help but feel a little guilt swimming among my excitement.
“Besides.” Carson tips his chin up as we roll to a spot outside an unmarked warehouse. “This will be much more creatively productive. Promise.”
He lifts my hand, and just when I think he’s going to plant a kiss on the back of it, he bites my knuckles and growls at me instead, which sends me into a fit of laughter.
“You’re ridiculous,” I tell him.
“You love it.” He smiles and hops out of the car.
I really do.
This is not good. I feel my defenses crumpling. Without the anger from the past to hold onto, I’m at the mercy of Carson Calloway. And I’ve learned from experience that’s a dangerous spot to be in. This man makes my head all murky. He swells me up. Turns me inside out. Those stupidly gorgeous smiles and his sarcastic tongue drive me wild.
Oh, the things he can do with that tongue.
There’s no doubt about it. I’ve royally screwed the pooch on this trip. And with our time left ticking down like a bomb waiting to go off, I’m positive I’ll be going home in pieces.
My door opens, and I realize I’ve frozen in place.
“My lady.” Carson takes my hand in his.
“What a gentleman.” I nudge him with my shoulder as I hop out.
Carson wraps his big arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. “Or serial killer leading you to your demise, remember? You hadn’t decided yet.”
I poke him in the side as we walk toward the unmarked warehouse. Although I know Carson isn’t actually taking me out here to dispose of me, it’s a pretty desolate place, and I have no idea what I’m walking into.
As we near the entrance, I hear a loud crash from inside. I look up at Carson with a confused pinch of my eyebrows and am met with his devious smile.
