Page 45 of Frosty Felicity
“As far as your father, if he is with someone to spite you, then his problems are bigger than even I think you imagine. I figure though, it’s probably not that at all. I’d guess he really cares for this lady, but what I want you to know is that I am extremely proud of you for going to his house tonight and being nice. That was a big step.”
She shook her head, not entirely convinced.
“No, I’m serious. It’s not being fake to hold our tongue during stuff like this. It’s a matter of respect. Not just for your dad, but for yourself. You are honest to your core. It’s one of the things I love about you, but sometimes, we have to let the chips fall where they may. We can’t save everyone, and you know what? It’s not our job to try to do that anyway, even if it’s someone we love.”
“You’re right. Brett, I want to tell you too, that—”
Suddenly, his cellphone rang. He looked at it and grimaced.
“Damn it.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I have gotten five fart calls tonight! It’s Christmas! They don’t stay on the phone long enough for the software to generate their real number. I have had it up to here!”
“Give me it.”
“Give you what? The phone?”
“Yes. Hand it over.”
“What are you going to do?”
“You’re wasting time. Do you want this to stop or not, Brett?”
He stared at it while it rang, then finally placed it in her palm. She answered it, but didn’t say a word. As soon as she heard the start of a fart noise, she put the phone on speaker, put it down on a nearby table, placed her face close to the receiver, smashed her hands against the sides of her jaws, and made a thunderous, roaring fart noise that practically shook the foundation. She continued to do this a couple of more times until the call abruptly ended.
“Babe, you’ve got to fight fire with fire. Flatulence with flatulence.” She snatched up the phone, placed it in his palm, and added, “And THAT’s how you get even with a prankster. Now, show me the way to the alcohol. I could use something sweet and strong… sounds like you, but I’ll have a sample of you later tonight.”
With a chuckle, he kissed her forehead and they walked back into the house, hand-in-hand.
