Page 32 of Frosty Felicity
“So, did I answer your question?” he asked.
“Yeah… There’s something you should know. I’m a mess, Brett. I see a therapist.”
“So?”
“I talk to myself.”
“So do I sometimes. Sometimes I answer, too.”
“One time I was sexting an ex-boyfriend, and accidentally sent it to our group chat.”
“One time I sent a dick pic to an ex, or so I thought. It actually went to my aunt who has the same first name. She’s seventy-six.”
“Was she impressed? In a non-incestuous sort of way?”
“Eh, she said she’d seen better…”
Oh, he’s quick with the wit, I see. I detest him for turning me on even more. Let’s see if he can top this…
“I love my job but hate the majority of the people I work with. I also resent everyone because I should have been promoted by now and I feel like they’re secretly judging me.”
“I love my job, and enjoy most of the people, but there’s this one cop I work with who I’d tie to a railroad track and then go home and sleep like a baby if I could get away with it.”
“See? You’re obsessed with kids. I feel like you want children, Brett, but you’re trying to pretend that you don’t, so we can see where this goes.” She wasn’t really sure of that but figured she might as well explore this as a possibility.
“I have a son. He is mine. Not by blood, but by heart. I am already a father in my eyes, and I would never lie about something like this. I have no issue telling anyone what I need, what I want, and what I can’t live without. A pretty face, long legs, amazing pussy, and intellectual prowess will not cause me to lie about that, either. As amazing as you are… no. Just no. That’s not something I’d play around with. Children are not a dealbreaker.”
“Duly noted. Speaking of kids again, I have daddy issues.”
“So now we’ve spun off into your childhood traumas? I don’t have many, so I’m afraid you’ll probably win this round.”
“Oh no, you’ve misunderstood, my dear. My daddy issues are recent.” She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “See, I treat him like a child because he acts like one. My parents divorced and I wasn’t upset about it, but I resent this young, cotton-candy brained fool he is now talking about he’s going to marry. I think I am going to wash my hands of him. She’s spending up all of his money, and he won’t listen to reason.”
“Everyone has to make their own mistakes. Let him know you’re concerned, don’t enable, but don’t back away from him completely. She may want to alienate him from his family—and then he’ll have no recourse. Or worse yet, he’ll realize you were right, but have no one to help him transition from the heartbreak. You’ll have regrets if you completely turn your back on him right now, and something bad happens. Take it from me, I’ve seen this play out before.”
“Good point. I hate you for being right.”
“I love you for admitting to being wrong.”
And then, they were kissing again. Glued to one another like porno magazine pages owned by a sixteen-year-old boy. She pulled away and looked down at her naked body, no longer covered by the sheets. Keeping her head down, she let the words roll out of her mouth…
“I had a mental breakdown. It was after finding out that my best friend had been sleeping with the love of my life, and she was pregnant with his child, and they were going to get married. She told me a few days before Christmas.”
“Oh, Jesus…”
“Yeah. Jesus in a manger, right? The baby cometh.” She laughed dismally. “She moved away with him. They had the baby and got married. I asked myself what was wrong with me? What caused me to lose two friends at once? He and I broke up because we didn’t want the same things in life. There weren’t any hard feelings, but I loved this man with every fiber of my being. This is why I am so adamant about asking what’s expected and needed, because I know what I want for my life, and I want… I want you to get what you want for yours, too.” She fiddled with her cuticle, then continued, “We’d remained cordial, my ex and I, but I was still very much in love with him, and she knew it.”
“You’re talking about your friend, right? The one who had the affair with your ex?”
“Yes. I had spoken to her extensively, several times, about my feelings for Matt. When I found out about the two of them, I confronted her on the phone. She admitted everything. I… I lost it. My mother knew I was depressed, but… she didn’t know I’d lost my mind. Most of all, Brett? I lost trust in all of humanity. This happened in the midst of some other blows I was dealt, and it was just too much. My career wasn’t moving. My love life sucked, and now, I’d been deceived. My emotions were volatile, but that type of pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It’s a source of embarrassment for me.”
“Loving someone, losing that love, going through all the emotions about it, and then being betrayed in the worst way possible, shouldn’t be embarrassing. You didn’t do anything wrong, Felicity.”
She sighed. “My friend and therapist, Violet, says the same thing. I know I’m not clinically crazy, but at one point, when this happened, maybe I was.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve dissected myself down to the bone. This situation aside, I know that my personality drives men away. It attracts them, then repels them.” She shook her head, frustrated. “I’m mysterious. An enigma. They like that I’m not overly emotional, at least not openly. Then, they get to know me and my brutal honesty and lack of filter drives them up a damn wall. They all say the sex is good… That’s why they stay longer than they should. I’m not bragging, it’s just the truth. I do Kegels. Practice dick sucking. I can ride for an hour without getting tired. I’m a pro.”
He burst out laughing.
“I know it sounds funny, but I’m serious. Being a woman like me? Wow!” She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “A pervert, a bit nerdy with an evil streak, lover of all things stylish, has vile thoughts of revenge from time to time, a workaholic, and sick of people’s shit… but deep within beats a soft heart under stratums of armor. It’s a curse.” She looked into his eyes and couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. His expression looked to be a combination of concern, empathy, and confusion. “I need you to know what you’re getting into.”
