Page 86 of Perfect Distraction
Chapter Sixteen
The pounding started at five-thirty. Not the pounding in Andrew’s head…that had begun the second Lauren had walked out of his exam room. This was the beat of his fist against her front door. “Lauren!”
Nothing.
“Let me in. I’m not leaving until you talk to me. You’re not a distract—”
Lauren pulled open the door, and he stopped mid-sentence. She seemed so small, as he stood with one hand gripping the doorframe above his head. The other was in a fist, poised to hit the door again, and he dropped it to his side. The sky behind him was gray and the ground covered in snow, creating a scene as dismal as the air between them. She still wore her blue scrubs. Still looked beautiful.
“Get in here, it’s freezing,” Lauren snapped. “Why aren’t you wearing a hat?”
He walked past her without responding. He went straight to her living room and stopped in the middle, turning to face her. She stood behind the couch, resting her hands on the back, like she wanted something between them, or something to hold on to.
He tucked his hands into his front pockets. “I’ve been calling you all day.”
“I know.”
“Did you get in trouble at work?”
“No.”
“Lauren, please. Tell me what happened. Tell me I didn’t fuck everything up for you, and for us.”
She sighed and walked around the couch to sit down. “Kiara and Emma won’t say anything. No one else knows. They agree it’s questionable for me to be with you, and it just reminded me of the reasons why I was hesitant in the first place.” She blinked, a tear streaming down her cheek. “But I don’t think it matters, because even though I think you’re worth it, I don’t think we feel the same—”
“Lauren,” he choked out. He lurched forward and dropped to his knees in front of her. He took her hands in his. “Please, I beg you. Hear me. What I said, about you being a distraction—I didn’t mean it like it sounded. The second I saw your face I knew what you thought, and it nearly killed me.”
He pressed her palm flat against his firm chest, so she would feel his pounding heart. “What I meant was that I don’t know how I ever would have gotten through this without you. From the first time I saw you, you’ve been this bright light of beauty and joy, making this dark road bearable. When I’m so tired I can barely walk up the stairs to my apartment, or when I don’t eat for two days because my stomach is on fire…I think about you, and the next time I get to see you. I tell myself it’s worth it to push through, because not only do I want to see you at my next visit, I want to see you next month. Next year. Five years from now. When I want to quit, I tell myself it’s not an option, because I can see the life I want to live, and I want you to be in it. Beyond all this. Beyond chemo, and scans, and lab work every week that tells me I need to be careful who I see and what I do. I want to get past all this and for you to still be there, by my side.
“If all you are is a distraction, I hope you’ll be that for the rest of my life. Be my distraction on the hard days when work gets me down. When I lose a case, or when I don’t get the promotion I wanted. Be my distraction when my sisters drive me to the brink of insanity and I need someone to bring me back. Be my distraction when we turn on the news and when the world is falling apart and it’s hard to see the good in it. If you’re there, I’ll have faith that God is real and that He still cares.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks and he cupped her face, wiping them away with his thumbs. “I can’t do this without you, Lauren.”
“Yes, you can.” Her voice wavered, and her bright green eyes looked deep into his. “But I don’t want you to.”
Andrew’s eyes closed, and he mouthed a wordless thank you before he crushed her to his chest. They held each other tightly for a long moment, Andrew still on his knees, Lauren supported by his arms around her.
Andrew pulled back and kissed her softly, reverently. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of kissing her, of touching her.
He worked his way down the column of her throat, loving the way her breath hitched with each press of his lips. Her hands roamed his shoulders and arms, causing goosebumps to break out along his skin.
Just when he’d made his way back up, his phone rang. Lauren tried to move away, but he held firm.
“Ignore it,” he said against her mouth.
The tone stopped for a few seconds, then started up again.
With a muttered curse, Andrew rocked back on his heels and reached into his pocket.
“What the hell do you want, Logan?”
Lauren watched with an amused expression while Andrew listened to Logan’s proposition. “I’m at Lauren’s. I know. I know. I’ll ask her, okay? She had a long day, and I’m not going anywhere without her. I’ll let you know.”
He ended the call and looked at her. “Logan wants to go out tonight to celebrate my last chemo. What do you think?”
Lauren thought for a moment. She gifted him with a wide smile, the first he’d seen since she first walked into his exam room that morning.
“I’m in.”
