Page 108 of Perfect Distraction
Andrew guessed that was true, but he’d never really cared before. “Why not?”
“It’s how she is.” Jeni said it so matter-of-factly, and Andrew wondered if he should let it go. It was hard, though, not to take it personally. Funny how he hadn’t cared when they talked crap about Caroline, but when it was Lauren…that was a different thing entirely.
“Andrew Bishop?” a voice called out, halting their conversation. They walked together to the desk, and an employee Andrew didn’t recognize led them through the now familiar maze of chairs until they reached Mandi’s section. He sat in silence while the assistant took his vitals, and soon Mandi was pushing her cart in his direction.
Her expression was worried. “How are you?”
Andrew tipped his head to the side. Was she asking about him and Lauren?
“I read about the hospital admission in your chart,” Mandi continued. Oh, that. “We’re not giving you any more bleomycin. Just AVD now. But are you feeling okay?”
Andrew nodded. “I feel back to normal.” His lungs did, anyway. The rest of his chest felt empty, probably because his heart was missing.
She looked relieved. “I’m so glad. I keep thinking about it, wondering if there’s something I missed. I didn’t notice a cough or labored breathing last time, but I don’t think I specifically asked…”
“Stop it,” Andrew interrupted. “You’re the best nurse I could ask for. What is it with you people? Blaming yourselves for something like that? Don’t you know these things happen, and it’s no one’s fault?”
Mandi looked between him and Jeni, her expression serious. “It comes with the job. Anytime something goes wrong, I’ll always wonder if I could have done something differently.”
Andrew wasn’t sure he’d be able to carry that burden and thought it was a good thing he wasn’t in health care. But then he considered his job, and how he knew he’d feel at fault when a case didn’t go his way or if it didn’t seem justice was served.
They all needed to realize that sometimes life wasn’t fair, and there was nothing to be done about it.
“I’m perfectly fine, so don’t think about it again, okay?” Andrew said.
Mandi nodded, unconvincingly in Andrew’s opinion, but he wouldn’t push it. Mandi accessed his port and started a saline drip, and disappeared to get his premedications. Andrew’s gaze swept the surrounding area while he waited, hoping to see the person he thought about constantly.
They hadn’t spoken once since that day on the phone. No texts, no phone calls, no cordial Hello at The Grind House. Andrew had gone there nearly every morning for coffee, hoping to see her, but she hadn’t been there.
Jeni pinched his arm and he flinched, moving away from her. “What was that for?”
She angled her head to the left, a meaningful look in her eye. Andrew followed the direction of her gesture, and that’s when he saw her.
Lauren walked down the hallway, wearing a dark green dress underneath her long white coat, both hands tucked into the front pockets. Her hair was in a loose braid, curving over one shoulder, like the first time she’d visited him in the infusion center.
His heart surged to life, like it had been lying dormant and brought back by the beauty before him. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She came around the corner, saw him, and stopped. A flush spread up her neck as her eyes drank him in, and he took a small measure of consolation that she seemed as affected as he was—to be in the same room, mere yards apart, though it may as well have been miles. Although he felt the connection deep in his core, he knew nothing would happen.
Not right now.
Their eyes met and held for a long moment. Hers reflected a deep sadness and yearning that made him ache. He didn’t look away and didn’t care if it was awkward or if anyone noticed. He never wanted to take his eyes from her again.
“For the love of Saint Mary,” Jeni’s voice reached his ear. “Get a room.”
He replied to his sister, his attention on Lauren never wavering. “Believe me, I would.”
“Gross,” Jeni said. “You’re my brother.”
“You brought it up.”
He watched Lauren’s shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath, and she broke eye contact. She turned and walked up behind a nurse sitting at a computer and leaned over to speak to her, pointing at the screen.
Mandi returned, blocking his view as she hung the small bags of fluid on the IV pole. “Same premeds as usual,” she said, pushing buttons on the pump. “You know the drill.”
Andrew nodded, trying not to be too obvious as he leaned to the side.
“Looking for someone?” Mandi asked.
