Page 120 of A Shade of Myself
I declined another call from Emmett. I wasn’t up to pretending to sound sick enough to get out of going after a potential enthralled.
This horrible past that I’d done nothing to deserve hung over me like an executioner’s blade. I felt powerless, a pawn shoved into a game I wanted no part of, except my only way off the board was with the queen’s blessing.
Eli dumped some sprigs on the table. Sprawling in his chair, he picked off some small mint leaves and stirred them into his lemonade. “Much as I hate giving Laurent any points, Jude is right. I saw how he stuck his neck out for you. More than once.” His head shot up. “Are you sleeping with him?”
“You sweet summer child,” Jude drawled.
“I’m slow on the uptake,” he said wryly and gave a soft laugh. “Mir, if you two are in a relationship, then you have to tell him.”
“We’re not.”
“Oh, really? Does he think he’s too good for you?” He puffed up his chest and crossed his arms. “Want me to go over there and tell him he’s an idiot if he gives you up? I’d know.”
“Thanks, but no. It’s all good. Well, it was until this.” I gnawed on a cuticle.
The night we met Giselle, I’d scoffed at Tatiana’s warning that the truth isn’t always a good thing. It felt patronizing, like she didn’t think I could handle it. A large part of reclaiming my magic had been about facing the truth. I’d hidden an important aspect of myself for too long. It was time to stop being afraid and time to get answers about my past instead of deadbolting it in a closet and hoping it never burst free.
The more I’d investigated Giselle’s case, the angrier I’d gotten on her behalf that someone had stolen all memories of her sibling from her. She deserved to know the truth. If I was being honest, some of my drive to solve this was fueled by the test that James Learsdon had sprung on me. He’d killed someone in order to learn the truth of my magic. My truth. I felt violated and scared, but I’d been determined to act because I refused to go back to feeling like the helpless child I’d been.
I’d recognized that same fear and vulnerability in Giselle.
Truth had always been personal, but after I connected my parents to Tatiana’s car crash, I experienced the ugly consequence that in championing my truth, I was violating someone else’s right to privacy about theirs.
Was I any better than James?
Or was I worse because I was a hypocrite who when faced with this really hard situation was scared to get through it and grow from those battle scars?
“I’m going to tell Laurent,” I said decisively. “Him and Tatiana both. I like my boss. She’s shifty and twisty as hell, but she’s smart and fierce and she has yet to break a promise to me.” I sighed. “As fucked-up as this sounds, it would have been easier if she had killed my parents. I could have hated her and moved on. But I don’t want to lose her.” I paused. “I really hope I don’t.”
“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” Jude said, not unkindly.
“Pretty much.”
My phone blew up with texts from the golem demanding that I call him.
I wiped my clammy palms off on my shorts. “This isn’t about the enthralled hotline,” I whispered. “Something’s happened.”
“Call him back,” Jude said. “We’ve got you.”
I hit Emmett’s contact button, putting the call on speaker for Jude and Eli to hear. “Hey, buddy. What’s up?”
“You need to come over. Now.” There was a crash on his end. “Tatiana is in a mood.”
Jude and Eli leaned forward.
I gripped the phone. “Wha—why?”
“Giselle told Kadeem that he was right. There was no case. Now he’s telling people that Tatiana’s a liar.”
I sagged back against the chair. “Oh, thank God.”
There was another crash.
“Are you kidding me? Get over here!” He hung up.
Eli grimaced. “Maybe keep the news about her crash a secret for another twenty-seven years?”
Jude pointed at Eli. “What he said.”
