Page 49 of A Shade of Myself
“How many imaginary children did you have?”
“Twenty-seven girls and one boy.” She pulled free. “You’re scaring me.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Sorry. Bad day at work.” Whoever had cast that illusion had built it around what I’d said about going for ice cream. I had to trust they couldn’t dig into my memories.
Trust that this was reality and Sadie was safe.
“Can we go for ice cream another day?” I said. “Or somewhere else?”
“No.” My daughter shoved her feet into flip-flops, and I let out a breath that they weren’t her runners.
She shot me weird looks all the way over to Casa Gelato but didn’t protest when I insisted on holding her hand crossing the street from the parking lot to the building, having checked six times in both directions first.
Jude waited for us outside, peeling herself away from the building’s pink wall at our approach. “This is a new and interesting regression,” she said in her Southern accent.
Sadie pulled her hand free. “Mom got freaked out at work. And now she’s going to buy me a double scoop for treating me like a child.”
I shoved a bunch of bills at her. “Whatever you want. Get tickets for Jude and me too.”
Sadie’s eyebrows shot up, but she snatched the money and raced inside.
Jude twirled a finger around my face. “You don’t look so good.”
I took her hand in mine. “Are we okay? Up on the Grind—”
“Sug, you’re as white as my silky linen drawers. Stop worrying about us,” she insisted, “and tell me what upset you.”
I suppressed a sigh. Leaving out the details of Carpe Demon, I told her that I was tricked into believing Sadie was killed by a car here.
Sadie stuck her head out of the door, holding the tickets up. “Come choose your flavors.”
Jude looped her arm through mine. “Let’s put some fat and sugar into you. I don’t know how to fix this, but I do know that food is always a good place to start.”
The gelato place was bustling. Colorful chalk murals of the Seven Wonders of the World adorned the walls, and servers busily handed out samples of their over two hundred flavors, ranging from the more esoteric like durian or wasabi to bubble gum and lemon sorbetto.
I ordered my favorite coffee chocolate chip in a waffle cone without bothering to try any samples. I was still jittery and just wanted Sadie and Jude to order their chocolate raspberry gelato and pink champagne sorbetto so we could cross that nightmare street and sit safely in the outdoor courtyard.
Sadie refused to let me hold her hand this time, so I sandwiched her between myself and Jude, walking across the street with my hands up and halting cars like I was a traffic cop.
My daughter covered her face, begging the ground to open up and swallow her.
“I’m not sitting with you.” She beelined for a broad leafy tree at the back of the cobblestoned seating area.
Jude and I sat on a bench against one of the walls enclosing the area.
“How’s it going with Dr. Takimoto?” I said.
“Great,” she insisted. “What about you all?”
My family had started seeing her therapist and I didn’t mind talking about our sessions in general terms, but I was peeved that she’d brushed off my question. “As good as can be. We’ve only had two and it’s taken Eli and Sadie this long to get comfortable, but I noticed a difference at the last one at how much they were willing to discuss.” I changed the subject to one she’d answer honestly. “Hey, did you hear back from that European importer? Do they want to carry your new line?”
Jude sighed. “Yes, but there are some problems with distribution in eastern Europe. At the very least, I’ll be in the western countries and probably the Czech Republic.”
“That’s amazing. Mazel tov.”
“Thanks. It’s an important step toward world domination.” She gazed up at the sky, a thoughtful look on her face. “Every time my art ends up in a new place, I think about the journey from my head to their homes. All these strangers who may not share my language share my vision of beauty and they want to incorporate it into their lives. It’s like they’re taking part of my life’s blood, my spark, and keeping it alive.”
“That’s a beautiful sentiment.”
