Page 101 of A Shade of Myself
I shrugged and he nudged me, his eyes still closed. Learning about raven shifters bringing things into existence was going to undo all his lovely relaxation, plus I really didn’t want to tell him. But he nudged me again, so I mumbled what Jude had told me, hoping he was half-asleep and didn’t really hear me.
His eyes snapped open, clear and fully awake. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Boo jumped off Laurent and crawled onto the pillow above my head. I reached up to scratch her, flopping onto my back.
“Spare me the ‘I told you so.’”
I turned my head to find a hurt expression on his face. “I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Please,” I scoffed. “It’s your new favorite pastime.”
“Second-favorite,” he said with a wolfish grin.
“Not the time for jokes,” I snapped, sitting up.
“Miriam,” he said gravely, “you’re not the only one who’s gotten mixed up in one of their games. I didn’t know about the consequences until now, and I’m certainly not going to condemn you for something I, myself, was foolish enough to partake in. We’ll find someone else to ask. If you want me involved,” he added.
Dealing with McMurtry, revealing the job my parents had been on, the investigations into my past, they all felt like something I should do on my own. Or maybe I was simply scared to tangle this last piece of my life up with him before our status was clarified. If he wasn’t interested in taking things further, then I had to start pulling back. I shrugged sulkily.
“Ask Harry.” There was no judgment in his voice about me not agreeing to his participation.
“Harry’s out of town. Giulia’s filling in.” I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. It would be smart to have Laurent by my side for any return visit to the temperamental cat gargoyle. “Would you come with me to see her?”
He yawned, a tiny crease appearing between his brows. “Now?”
“No time like the present.” I slid off the bed and stepped into my underwear. I’d been getting too cozy and I should have gone home immediately. This wasn’t a sleepover relationship. But once I was on the bed, it would have been weird to bolt. This was the perfect way out.
We dressed in silence. Laurent still looked sleepy, but he was accompanying me. I slipped into my wrap dress. For all his protests and belief that his priority was killing dybbuks, Laurent was always there for the few people he gave a damn about. This wasn’t special behavior just for me.
I fastened the ties on the dress. By his own admission, Laurent hadn’t had sex with anyone in a while. I was thrilled that he’d broken that dry streak with me, but did the fact that he’d gotten physically intimate with me mean he was open to something beyond sex?
The only relationship that had ever mattered was the one with Eli. When I met Ben, I thought he had the most potential since my divorce, but dybbuk possession and dating didn’t mesh, and that dream died a swift death. However, the thought of being with Ben was like strolling through a beautiful garden on a sunny day. It would be lovely and cheery and orderly.
A relationship with Laurent would be like learning I could safely hold fire. That I’d been given the gift of cradling this mesmerizing wild element. If anyone else tried it, the flames would devour them, but I kept its destructive nature in check.
The thought was exciting and exhausting in equal measure. Had I been in my twenties, I’d have gone for it without a second thought, but as much as I wanted to broach the topic with him, I’d want to take things slow. The gentle flicker of a candle, not the roar of a bonfire. And slow wasn’t exactly his favorite speed.
Laurent didn’t say much as we headed out, though he scowled when I insisted on taking my car.
“Please?” I batted my lashes. Given the thoughts in my head, I wanted to be in control of something, even if it was as small as driving during this information quest.
He rolled his eyes but got into the car without comment. However, just before I released the emergency brake, he hauled me against him, kissing me for one bright, ferocious moment before releasing me mindwhacked and tempted to climb back into bed with him.
“Allons-y,” he said with an innocent smile and closed his eyes.
“Bastard,” I muttered to his low chuckle, and off we went into the night, following a star.
