Page 79 of A Shade Too Far
“It hadn’t come up yet,” I said tightly.
Sadie glared at me. “It’s a lot to take in.”
You sneaky bastard. No bonding with my child and no turning her against me when I’d just gotten her on board. I motioned at Eli for some support for Team Feldman-Chu, but he was busy drooling over the damn car and all I got was a vague head bob before he crouched down to examine the tires.
“Perhaps there’s something I can do to make it less overwhelming.” Zev stroked his goatee. “Give me the names of your closest friends and I’ll make sure that none of my people cause them any harm.”
Sadie gave him the same look of adoration that I’d gotten the year I gave her the Barbie Dream House for Hannukah. “You will?”
I checked myself for waves of steam. I expected this manipulation from Zev, but I thought my family wasn’t that easy. They weren’t supposed to roll over like puppies wanting their bellies scratched.
Zev’s promise was pointless since he wouldn’t target Sadie’s friends and stir up the cops. Please. I could have told her that. Oh wait, I had.
As for the walking midlife crisis still checking out the car? Jeez, Eli, normal people didn’t look at headlights that way, even fancy-ass ones. Get a room already. And get real. If someone handed you a Ferrari, you wouldn’t drive it over the speed limit and you’d be paranoid about bird shit marring the finish.
“Give me a fucking break, both of you.”
“I beg your pardon?” Zev looked askance at me.
Whoops. I’d said that out loud. “Nothing.”
“Do you really promise?” Sadie said.
“You have my word.” The vampire pulled out a phone, allowing her to type in her friends’ names and addresses, while he smiled at me over the top of my daughter’s bent head.
I motioned at him to move out of Sadie’s earshot with me. “Are you compelling my family?”
Zev placed his hand on his heart. “I can’t be liked for myself?”
I planted my hands on my hips. “Then what’s with the full-on charm offensive? Are you out to divide and conquer or is your strategy more a show of strength? Proving to me that you can get to my family in other ways than direct harm?”
“I’m simply concerned with making a good first impression.”
Sadie joined us to return his phone. “Thank you.”
I silently fumed, grinding my teeth. If he’d compelled my family, I could have busted Delilah out as a violation of his promise, but this was straight up moving pawns on his chess board.
“How’s the HY-KERS system?” Eli asked. “Is the hybrid really better than the classic V12?”
I kicked a twig halfway across the yard. This family was rubbish.
“Instant throttle response,” the vampire said. “But to truly experience it, you have to open her up on a stretch of road.” He got a dreamy look on his face and my heart sank. Whether or not the look was an act, it humanized him, and given the expressions on my family’s faces, they’d met the coolest person ever. “Imagine steering the Space Shuttle,” Zev said, “but wrapped in velvet, and bending the fabric of space and time.”
Eli gazed at the vehicle reverentially.
“Want to drive her sometime?” Zev asked.
“No!” I squeaked. Everyone looked at me—Zev amused, Eli hurt, and Sadie puzzled—and I frantically backpedaled. “Insurance issues, am I right? Can’t have just anyone driving this expensive car.”
One stray rock, one tiny ding, and Zev would pulverize Eli’s head.
“I’d be careful,” the father of my child said in a sulky voice.
“It’s never good to anger the women in our lives.” The vampire gave him a conspiratorial wink. “Perhaps I could sponsor you to go through Corsa Pilota.”
“Ferrari’s racing school?” Eli made a noise no dignified human should and swayed in toward the sports car like a flower to the sun. He puffed out his chest, speaking in a gruff and lower voice than normal. “I do have time off that I could take.”
Five more minutes and Eli would be weaving him a friendship bracelet.
“Then it’s settled. Shall we proceed with the ward?” Zev headed into my backyard, Eli right behind him. Zev looked around our age, but he had the air of someone much older, and Eli was treating him with the hero worship of an elder brother.
I rolled my eyes. That was all I needed.
“I don’t know what you were so worried about, Mom,” Sadie said, handing me the flamethrower. “He’s nice.”
Said no one about that vampire ever.
