Page 61 of A Shade Too Far
More applause.
Laurent briefly closed his eyes like he was being punched but had resigned himself to the beating.
The top row of slats on the board flipped around with a series of ka-thunks and I leaned forward, reading them: Nighttime Haunts of Paris, Libraries, British Crime Shows, Wolves, and Days of the Week.
“What the hell?” Laurent muttered.
Apart from that last category, it was as if they’d been tailor-made for us. Had Zev given them a heads-up that we were coming, allowing these two men to gather some cursory information on us? If not, then why these particular categories? If I ground my teeth any harder, I was going to require reconstructive dental surgery.
“Ephraim,” our host said, “tell our contestants the rules.”
“Sure thing, Hiram,” the other man boomed. “Each round on The Naked Truth consists of three questions. Get all three right and our contestants may ask a question of their choosing, which we will answer honestly, should we know it. Lose a round and they forfeit their question. Goooooood luck!”
“Miriam, we’ll start with you.” Hiram gestured at the board. “Pick a category.”
Wolves and Nighttime Haunts of Paris were out, unless the point was to find out how much Laurent and I knew about each other like on The Newlywed Game. But no. Because not married. So, then I didn’t have to choose those ones, right? I tapped my foot, practically vibrating. How was I supposed to decide when any choice could lead us into a minefield in this creepy-ass game show and there was so much at stake?
“Miriam,” Hiram said impatiently.
All right. I would stick with familiar subjects. Less chance for error. “Libraries, please.”
Hiram read the question off one of the cards stacked on his podium. “What was the Dewey decimal numbering…” He paused for dramatic effect.
I preened. This first question was in the bag.
“The Dewey decimal numbering in the stack where you gave Dex Lassiter a blow job shortly before that relationship ended?”
My face drained of all color.
Laurent broke into a belly laugh, and when I failed to answer, he nudged my leg. “We’re doing this for Tatiana.”
There weren’t a lot of actions in my life that I regretted, but that one was in the top two. Dex was the first man I dated after my divorce and even that would never have happened if my self-esteem hadn’t been at an all-time low. We had very little in common, but I didn’t want to be alone again, and after a lot of badgering, I gave in to his request that we play sexy librarian. It was all kinds of stupid and I’d never told anyone, not even Jude.
“H-how do you…?” I stammered. “I mean, I never—”
Hiram’s jovial expression took on a hard glint. “Audience, remind our contestants of the name of this show?”
“The Naked Truth!”
I dug my nails into my thighs. “Who are you people? Where did you learn this? What’s going on here?” I struggled to stand up, but the invisible seat belt had me pinned.
“Your awkward adorableness reminds me of my younger self, Miriam,” Hiram said, “so I’ll answer you free of charge. Long ago, Ephraim and I discovered that if we teamed my Banim Shovavim divination magic with his Ohrist abilities to suss out a lie, we had a very effective information gathering tool.”
My anger outweighed my amazement that Hiram was Banim Shovavim. “You can dress it up all you like.” I flung a hand toward the board. “It’s no better than hot lights and thumbscrews interrogation.”
“That’s so trite.” Ephraim made a scoffing noise from wherever he was. “Give ’em the old Razzle Dazzle.”
“You’re a Chicago fan?” Somehow sharing a love of Broadway musicals was incredibly surreal. And dangerous. Magic plus love of artifice. God help us if there was choreography.
“We met doing a production,” he replied. “Hiram was Roxie. I was Velma.”
Sure, why not?
“Why this bullshit show at all if you already know everything about us?” Laurent narrowed his eyes. “And who else is watching?”
“Why would we share what we learn?” Ephraim paused. “Until we have to.”
“Are we trading threats now?” Laurent draped his arm along the back of the love seat, but his expression made me shiver and try to move over to put more space between us. A pointless endeavor given the magic seat belt.
