Page 20 of Throwing Shade
6
What exactly was mazel?I’d been so focused on the domino part, I’d ignored the rest of Emmett’s message. Librarian skills to the rescue. The literal translation was “a drip from above.” It had a lot of different connotations, depending on its context, but they were all connected to this basic idea of something trickling down to us from the stars.
Had I known that and it had subconsciously colored how I framed decisions as stars in the constellation of life?
Feeling totally bloated from all the risotto expanding in my belly, I browsed some more websites, taking notes. When we Jews said “mazel tov,” we were really saying “may your stars align favorably.” The belief went as follows: everything has mazel, a specific pattern of blessings for health, wealth, etc., set out by God. A Torah at the front of the ark where the scrolls are housed in the synagogue had great mazel because it was used often, while the scrolls at the back didn’t.
In my haste to learn more, I jostled my laptop, grabbing it to keep it from listing sideways off the sofa cushions. While a person’s whole future was mapped out in the stars by God, a Jew couldn’t go to a fortune teller and find out what would happen tomorrow, because that was a form of idolatry and forbidden in the Jewish faith.
However, Jews were able to either harness their mazel or overcome it entirely. If I was born under the influence of Mars, for example, my mazel predicted I’d be a bloodletter. So that might mean a murderer, but if I harnessed that mazel for good, then I might be a doctor.
Thus, we were given mazel (destiny) and the ability to rise above mazel (free will).
Is that what had happened last night? Putting my computer aside, I sifted through puzzle pieces for green ones to complete the Into The Woods poster in the middle of the jigsaw. Had my destiny, my mazel, been to hide my abilities for the rest of my life, and by reclaiming my magic, I’d somehow changed it? Jude’s ideas about power and empowerment came to mind. In keeping my magic suppressed all these years, had I limited my choices, my free will? Is that why I’d struggled in part with feelings of marginalization?
I turned a puzzle piece between my fingers.
Was exercising my free will in this manner even a good thing? Delilah’s reemergence was like the best cocktail I’d ever had, but I was drinking it in a club surrounded by strangers who would either make my night or kill me.
Hiding my magic had kept me safe, and that had been my choice. It still was. End of story.
My perseverance with the jigsaw paid off and I filled in Red’s cloak with a satisfied nod.
This was why it was better to not know the future, because having heard Emmett’s domino crap, I was now second-guessing everything, trying to base future decisions on the meaning of his vague pronouncement, and tying myself into knots wondering how it fit into mazel and free will. So long as I followed my plan, all would be well.
Since I was too tipsy to drive, I called an Uber to take me back to Chambers. Assuming Jude had gone to meet me last night, maybe someone had seen her. It was my only lead.
It was a few minutes after 8PM and the place was only half-full. I headed for the bar, where the same guy was working, and showed him a photo of Jude, but he hadn’t seen her, nor had one of the servers who’d been on duty last night.
On my way out, I saw Alex sitting in a back booth.
I grabbed a table that would keep him in my sights, nursing a cranberry juice and soda as I spied on him. He didn’t speak to anyone, putting away shots like he was celebrating. I left when he did, throwing down some cash and keeping a safe distance between us.
There was still a good half-hour until sunset, with a lot of people milling about Terence Poole Plaza, but Alex headed for the seawall, a less populated path that wound around the waterfront. Was he on the hunt for someone else to attack?
I couldn’t risk some other woman being assaulted. With the sun so low in the sky, I cast a long shadow, and if the worst came to pass, I could cloak myself, and possibly someone else.
As I followed Alex, I estimated his height and weight, as well as noting what he was wearing in case I had to describe him. Nothing about his appearance was off, nothing indicated that this was indeed the kind of dude who would try to rape you in a back alley if he got the chance. Just slicked-down hair and brown shoes, one more tired lawyer making his way somewhere, but something set off alarm bells.
It wasn’t until he passed under a newly switched-on streetlight that it hit me: Alex’s shadow was a sickly gray flecked with crimson.
I blinked rapidly, willing my brain to turn this impossibility into a trick of the moonlight, but it didn’t resolve itself. Was this a function of his magic or something more nefarious at play? It hadn’t been that way yesterday because I’d have noticed.
In my shock, I’d stopped, and Alex disappeared around the back of the restaurant that anchored the west edge of the plaza. I hurried after him, but when I came around the far side of the building, which was closed for renovations, he was nowhere to be seen.
This well-lit side of the restaurant featured a narrow patio section adjacent to its own tiny plaza just off Terence Poole. Smack dab in the middle of the smaller plaza stood a glass elevator tower that was connected by a walkway to the restaurant’s roof. Also accessible by stairs, the walkway allowed people to stroll onto the grass roof of the building. Why this was a selling feature, I had no idea.
I strode across the smaller plaza, coming to a dead stop when Alex stepped out from behind the elevator tower.
“We meet again.” He turned cold eyes level with mine, and flexed his fingers. “You surprised me yesterday. That won’t happen now.”
The wrongness of his shadow made the back of my neck prickle. I had no idea what he’d done for it to get like that, but the urge to destroy that abomination came from the very marrow of my bones. This was more than a gut instinct; it was a magically heightened sensitivity spurring me on.
Delilah disengaged, and the world split into two versions: one in night vision and one in Miri vision, but I didn’t immediately attack because the plan had been to gather information, not go for round two, especially when I had no idea what his diseased shadow signified.
Any damage that my shadow took, I suffered, and I was still injured from our encounter last night. I curled my toes under inside my runners, steeling myself to wing it as best I could, but I glanced around for something to hide behind, since I couldn’t let him paralyze me again.
“Sparing me all your yammering tonight?” he said. “Thank fuck. Though your attempts to flirt yesterday were impressive.”
