Page 130 of Ten Hours

“I’m trying. I think getting away for a while will help me clear my head. There’s just so many memories here.”

“Trust me, I know.” She releases my hand, sitting back in her seat.

“Well, I guess I should probably get going. I have a lot to do before I leave tomorrow.”

“Will you text once you land? Let me know you got there okay.”

“I will,” I promise, pushing to a stand.

“And don’t forget to call me here and there. It would be nice to hear your voice. I know it sounds strange, but you make me feel closer to her.”

“It doesn’t sound strange at all,” I admit, feeling reminiscent of that at this very moment.

“Take care of yourself, Abel.” She stands, once again wrapping her arms around my middle. This time I return the hug, embracing her in a way I haven’t since Finley died.

It feels good, freeing almost, and in a way I wish I hadn’t waited so long to see Claire. She meant a lot to Finley, and because of that, she means a lot to me.

We hold each other a little longer than we probably should. Each of us clinging to the parts of Finley wrapped up in the other person. Several seconds pass before I pull away, pausing to look down at her again.

“Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone,” I tease, tipping her chin.

“I make no promises.” She laughs, taking a full step back. “Have a good trip. And Abel,” she calls just as I move to leave. “I hope you find the peace you’re looking for.”

“Yeah, me too.” I give her a small smile before turning and quickly walking away.

I don’t know what the future holds. It’s hard to think about tomorrow let alone weeks or months from now. But deep down I know I’ll be okay. I know it down to my very core because I can feel her there. In everywhere I go, in everything I do, she’s with me. Just like she said she would be.

No matter how badly it hurts, no matter how much I miss her, I’d do it a hundred times over again. I’d relive every moment from beginning to end if it meant that I could see her face again. See her smile again. Hear her voice when she says she loves me.

I’ll never understand why I had to lose her right as I found her. And I don’t think a day will go by that I won’t think of her. Of how our lives could have been if she were still here.

Finley was my axis. Now I have to find a way to keep my world turning without her in it. And one day I will. One day I will find my way because I know that’s what she wanted for me. And one day, one day, I’ll find the strength to let her go, just like she asked me to.

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The End