CHAPTER31
“The old castle?”they say in unison, sharing a look.
“Time to put all your hard work sharpening your daggers to good use, Winny.” I start out of the smithy.
She’s the first to catch up. I’m glad to see her bringing her daggers. “Why are we going to the old castle?”
“This isn’t a sanctioned trip, the vampir lord—”
“We’re not going far,” I interrupt Callos. I’ve no interest in getting Ruvan’s approval. Since he seems to have no interest in speaking to me these days, either. “We just need one Succumbed.”
“For what?” Callos balks.
“I need to see if this silver will kill it. If I’m right, it won’t. And that’s where you’ll come in,” I say with a nod to Winny.
“Why do you want your silver to not kill the Succumbed?” she asks.
“I need something that has all the properties of a silver steel—at least to the naked eye. But not enough silver to be deadly to a vampir. When Ventos and I return to Hunter’s Hamlet, he’ll raise suspicion if he’s not wielding a silver blade. But we can’t give him an actual silver one in case they force him to cut himself on it.” It won’t fool my mother. But hopefully we won’t run into her…as much as it hurts my heart to think.
“Smart.” Callos sounds impressed.
“I have my moments,” I say over my shoulder with a grin as we reach the top of the stairs.
“Moments of what?” Ruvan asks, halting me in my tracks.
I stare up at him, nearly having run into him. We’re a breath apart. His expression the last time we were this close is seared on my memory. His frustration. Hurt.
If you want, you can be nothing to me.
I don’t want that. I know I don’t. But I haven’t found the words, or the courage, to say so yet. I’m still wounded from all he didn’t say, or tell me sooner. All he did, and his forefathers did, that I didn’t know I needed to forgive him for—all that I find myself struggling with during quiet moments even if I seem completely fine when I’m busy. He was right, we came together so quickly and now I’m ricocheting backward, away from him, like a hammer striking an anvil directly.
Maybe I will find words for him again before I leave for the hamlet. But the fuller the moon grows, the closer I am to returning to all I’ve known, the more a sense of shame creeps upon me, unbidden. Unwanted. Yet undeniable.
“Moments of brilliance,” Callos says, pushing past the tension as if he doesn’t sense it when I know he does.
“That hardly is surprising,” Ruvan murmurs, as if the compliment is hard for him to say.
“Why thank you.” My shoulder brushes his arm as I step around.
“We’re going to the old castle,” Winny reports. I freeze, shoulders rising to my ears. I was hoping to avoid this.
“The old castle? Why?” Ruvan’s footsteps pick up behind me.
“I need to test something.”
He grabs my elbow. “You can’t go to the old castle.”
“Why not?” I whirl.
“What if something happens to you?”
“Winny and Callos are coming.”
Ruvan’s frown deepens. “Callos is hardly of help in a fight.”
“Thank you for all your confidence, my lord,” Callos says dryly.
His eyes dart to his knight. “Sorry.”
