“But your wants matter.” He’s using my wishes to hide and it infuriates me. He’s being evasive and he knows it. He knows what I’m trying to ask and his dodging is really all the answer I need.
“You keep telling me to choose my future, now I want you to choose yours. If I wanted to remain your bloodsworn, even after you were king of the vampir, would you do it because you loved me? You said you would defend me, and the hamlet, from your people, but will you defend our love?”
He opens his mouth, letting out the start of a word that just hangs there. Silence sinks in as fast as my heart is sinking in my chest. Drew was right…none of this means anything. It never did.
What a fool I was for working to take this seriously. To think I might have entertained remaining his wife. To honor and love him.
“All right then.” I head up the stairs.
“Floriane, it’s not that simple!” He races after me.
“It is that simple! You either believe me, or you don’t. You’re open to helping me find the truth about our history, or you’re not.” I spin on the stair, looming over him. “You love me—truly love me and want me by your side—or you don’t.”
“Do you even want me to love you?” He raises a hand to his chest. “Because I can never tell with you!”
“You know how hard this is,” I snap.
“Hard for us both!” He throws his hands in the air. “I was born to hate you.”
“As was I.”
“But do you love me despite that? Do you love me as I love you? You’re demanding all this of me and yet you still have not told me how you truly feel.”
I purse my lips and inhale slowly. I’m too mad to think rationally. Because all I can think of is him pushing me aside. Him revering a king who he believes looked at humans as little more than test subjects. Him saying he believes in my dreams and then his actions directly contradicting it.
“Is that my answer, then?” He chuckles darkly and shakes his head.
“Ruvan—”
He speaks over me, words bitter and harsh. “What does it matter? Fine, then, your answer is no and mine is as well. You wouldn’t be my bloodsworn because the vampir would never accept a human as their queen. Especially not one that is a descendant of those who cursed us.”
We stare at each other, words ringing in our ears. I can still feel his magic in me from the night before, filling the hollow left behind by his body. A void that will never be filled again. Who knew there were so many ways to sink into darkness?
“All right, then. Glad we could clear that up before I convinced myself this was real.” I turn to leave.
He curses under his breath. “Floriane, where are you going?”
“Anywhere but here.”
“Don’t leave. We should talk—”
“Don’t,” I hiss as he starts up the stairs. “Don’t follow me. I want to be alone.”
“We should talk this out,” he finishes his sentence with purpose. “We’re both…” He rubs his temples. “A lot has happened, emotions are high, and we’re both being foolish.”
“You don’t think I know that?” I glare at him. But my anger softens some. I sigh. Why is this all so difficult? How can I care for someone so deeply and yet they wound me in equal measure? “You’re right, we need to talk. But first, I need some time alone, please. We’ll talk when I’m not so cross and can think clearly.”
“We should talk now.”
“I don’t want to talk to you now,” I say firmly. “Give me some space, let me clear my head, and we’ll sort this out later.”
As I leave this final time, no footsteps follow.
