“When will Vena tell them?” I ask Davien as we descend the short stair to where the horses are waiting.
“When the time is right.” Davien swings up into his saddle somewhat clumsily and it takes four adjustments until he’s found a comfortable seat. His horse is a speckled gray stallion. A strong boy whose muscles speak of good breeding and even better stable hands. Were it not for the intensity the horse exudes, he would remind me of Misty.
“And when will that be?” I ask, trying to push thoughts of my long-lost mount from my mind. I hope with all the money my family gained they found enough to spare to take care of her. Maybe when I return I could take some of the coin Davien left me in that house and go and purchase my horse from them.
Maybe when I return I’ll just steal Misty in the night. No one knows the stables and grounds better than I. And after spending weeks surviving in the fae wilds…the thought of confronting my family, or thieving from under their noses, is far less frightening than it might have been months ago. Old gods, maybe I’ll be brave enough to just tell them I’m taking Misty and say to Laura, come with me.
“That’s not for us to worry about.” He motions to the all-white mare at his side. “We just need to focus on getting to the Lake of Anointing as fast as possible. It’ll be a hard ride for two days to make it there. Do you need help getting up on your horse?”
I snort. Did he mistake my checking the horse’s saddle and bridle for uncertainty about riding? He’ll certainly be in for a surprise today. “I think I’ll be fine.”
I put my foot in the stirrup with confidence and swing up. The saddle is broken in and well-worn in all the right places, but still strong and of quality make. I give the horse a pat on the neck then take the reins with an easy grip. I don’t know this mount as well as Misty. For all my confidence, I should also still be careful. Last thing I want is to spook the girl, or push her too hard, and be thrown.
“Are we ready?” Shaye asks. “Daylight is burning.”
“Lead on.” Davien nods.
Shaye clicks her tongue and charges into the city with Giles close beside her. Davien hesitates when I don’t. As I pass him, I can’t stop myself from flashing him the smallest of smirks. He catches it. His eyes widen slightly and his mouth purses. He snaps the reins, causing his horse to startle and whinny.
I turn ahead with a laugh. He’ll figure it out. He’s a prince, after all.
The rogue thought catches me off guard. He’s a prince, my mind repeats. I’ve always known that he is. But the closer we become, somehow the harder it is to imagine. I glance back over my shoulder. His hair is tousled by the wind, catching the sunlight with almost liquid shine. To think that a few hours ago I ran my fingers through that hair…that I kissed those lips.
I look ahead again, tearing my eyes from him before my stomach can do so many flips that it becomes uneasy. I let Dreamsong blur around me, not focusing on the houses or their incredible construction for the first time as I traverse the streets. “Last night was nothing,” I repeat only to myself.
No feelings. That’s what we promised. Last night was nothing more than a release of the tension that has been building between us for weeks. There’s no need to overthink it. No need to complicate it. No need to feel guilty now. It can be just that—a fun escape, an indulgence. It was so much nothing that it’s not even worth talking about.
If I feel anything, it’s only that I won’t be able to indulge in that escape for much longer. Soon, if Vena is right, the magic will be out of me. After that happens, I’ll need to leave Midscape as quickly as possible before the withering begins.
Davien and I were never meant to be. He’s the fae king and I won’t let myself fall in love. The fact that I found even a brief enjoyment with him is enough. It’s enough, I repeat to myself, more insistently than before. Yet for some reason, the thought can’t seem to settle in my mind. It keeps chasing me and I ride faster and faster, as if I’m trying to outrun it.
We break away from the city, cresting the peak of the valley that Dreamsong is nestled within. We’re back into the forests now, magic fluttering in the air around us. I can go even faster here; I’m not constrained by the streets or the people on them. I weave between trees as I grow more and more comfortable with my horse.
“Are you trying to lead the way?” Giles calls with a laugh.
“Certainly not,” I shout back.
“You seem like you’re trying to race us.”
“If I knew where we were going, I would be inclined to race.” I slow my pace to hold a conversation, trotting over to where Shaye and Giles are still riding together. Davien has mostly caught up since we left the city.
“You’re fairly comfortable on a horse for a noble lady,” Shaye observes.
“I don’t know if I would call myself noble,” I say with a small smile. “My father was the first lord in our family tree. He only attained it because of his luck trading.” My smile falls and I stare across the golden and red expanse of the forest. “And when that luck ran out…so did everything that came with lordship except for the title.”
Shaye stares at me for a long minute. There’s a deep understanding in her eyes—a thoughtfulness that most people lack. I don’t feel seen in the same way that I feel with Davien. It isn’t as though she’s peering into my deepest thoughts and darkest corners. No… There’s almost a subtle acknowledgment with Shaye. As though she sees and recognizes pain, just as I can see and recognize it in her, even though our pain is different and unique.
“Did you take riding lessons before the luck ran out?”
“No, though I did manage to get a horse as a gift. One of the only things my father gave me. I had to take care of her, see to all of her needs. But the stable hand we had was kind enough to teach me the basics of riding. After that, I taught myself by escaping early in the morning.” I stare intently at the point where the faintly glowing motes begin to obscure the trees in the distance. “I would ride, and ride until I was at the very edge of my small world…and at that point, I fantasized about keeping on. About riding to a place far out of reach from them.”
“I suppose you succeeded.” Giles laughs. He’s a lighthearted one and seems oblivious to the pain lingering underneath my words that Shaye so clearly picks up on. “After all, you’re riding pretty far from them now, in a place that they will never get you.”
I laugh softly. If only I could stay here. The thought crosses my mind so naturally that it takes me a full three seconds to be caught off guard by it. It’s not the first time I’ve had this sort of musing. So it’s not surprise that’s alarming me. It’s how natural the want has become.
“Is that the horse you wanted to keep?” Davien asks. I don’t recall when he got so close. He’s now on the other side of me, and I’m sandwiched between him and Shaye. “Oren told me that there was a point of contention the day you left about a horse.”
“Her name is Misty,” I say. “My father only ever gave me two things—my mother’s lute, which was more of an inheritance from her than a gift from him, and Misty. My sisters don’t even ride.” Though, Laura did say she’ll do her best. “She’ll be wasted there.”
