But resting right under the surface was the knowledge of how right it had felt.
He banged his hand against the steering wheel. Now things were going to be incredibly strained between him and Piper. It had been awkward ever since he’d arrived back in Owl Creek, but this would be ten times worse. No woman ever wanted to be told that kissing her had been a mistake. He wouldn’t blame Piper if she never wanted to speak to him again.
Every time he felt as if things were sliding into place between them, something happened to cause him to backslide. Perhaps they’d never totally get back on track. It would be devastating, but he knew it was a possibility.
As Braden pulled up to the family compound, he noticed that the interior of the house was dark, with the exception of a multitude of colored lights decorating the pine tree in front of the house. Braden let himself inside, quickly noticing a soft light emanating from the kitchen. Following the trail of light, Braden ended up standing in the doorway looking at his father as he sat down at the kitchen counter with a plate of sugar cookies and a large glass of milk. Tenderness rose up inside him at the sight of his dad. Nate North was a good man, one who’d raised him and Connor with strong values and a deep sense of the importance of family. Time and again Braden asked himself how his father had survived his sister’s kidnapping. When he’d once asked him that question as a little kid, Nate hadn’t hesitated to answer. “Faith, my boy. Pure faith.” He’d never forgotten those words, and he knew that he never would. It had taught him about believing in something with an unshakable dedication.
“What are you doing up? Midnight snack?” Braden asked as he opened the fridge and took out the bottle of milk and then poured himself a generous glass. He turned back toward his father, smiling at the way he was dunking his cookies into his glass.
“I was actually waiting up for you,” Nate said, patting the chair next to him. “Take a seat, son. I’d like to talk to you.” His father’s blue eyes bore into him intently.
“What’s going on?” Braden asked as he sat down beside him. He had a funny feeling he was going to be grilled. It wasn’t every day his father stayed up late to have an audience with him.
“You tell me. I’ve been biding my time, but I didn’t want to wait another day before asking you how you’re doing.” Nate’s brows were knit together. His eyes radiated concern. It was the last emotion he wanted his father to feel. For twenty-five years Nate had worried about the fate of baby Lily. It wrecked Braden to think he was the cause of his father’s alarm.
“I’m fine, Dad,” he said, trying to make his voice sound steady.
Nate shook his head. “No, Braden. I don’t think you are. Ever since you left Owl Creek to chase high-flying adventures I’ve wondered and worried about you. You’ve been running from something.” His father reached out and placed his hand on Braden’s. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
Braden bowed his head. He couldn’t look his father in the eye and tell him a lie. He was far from being fine. That was for sure. But how could he tell him what had happened that day on the mountain? He didn’t want to put any more burdens on his father’s shoulders. He’d carried enough to last a lifetime.
“You’re right, Dad,” he admitted, dragging his gaze up to lock eyes with Nate. “There’s something that happened a few years ago and I’ve kept it a secret. I’m not proud of it. It doesn’t sit well within my soul, and I’m trying to make amends for it.”
“Care to elaborate?” Nate asked, his dark brows furrowed.
“I don’t think I’m ready to share, Dad. I’d like to tell you everything...down the road. Just not right now.”
“And Piper? How does she fit into all of this? I couldn’t help but notice there was a distance between you for the last few months.”
“Was it that obvious?” he asked. It was a slightly uncomfortable feeling knowing the entire town might be gossiping about his relationship with Piper. And here he’d thought virtually no one had noticed.
“I doubt most people gave it a second thought, but you’re my son. I’ll always care about what’s going on in your world.” His father’s steely gaze never left him. It was clear he was still seeking an answer to his question.
“It involves her,” he admitted. “She’s still my best friend, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose her.” The very thought of it made his heart constrict. It felt like he was on a runaway train he couldn’t stop from careering off the tracks.
“Because o
f this...secret?” his father pressed.
Braden nodded. “I thought by helping her with the diner I could make amends, but I still feel such guilt. And I don’t have the courage to tell her what she needs to know.”
“Are you being prayerful about it? God knows what you’re going through. If you can’t tell me or Connor or even Piper, make sure you tell Him. He will guide you home.”
Braden felt moisture welling up in his eyes. Home. For so long he had been homesick for this very place. Alaska was firmly rooted in his identity, as was being a member of the North family. Being able to come back to Owl Creek had been his heart’s desire for a long time. But it hadn’t turned out to be as idyllic as he’d imagined. Time hadn’t healed all of Piper’s wounds, and the ones he was carrying around still weighed heavily on him.
“I do talk to Him. All the time. I’m struggling a bit to understand why terrible things happen to good people. No matter how much I toss it around in my mind, nothing seems to make sense. It makes me so mad and frustrated.”
Nate grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly. “I’ve been about as low as a man can be after our child was stolen from us. I was angry at God for allowing someone to steal Lily right from our own home where she should have been safe and sound. At times I was so bitter and enraged I could hardly see straight. But a wise man gave me some sound advice I’ve never forgotten. It’s okay to be angry, but don’t stay that way. Walk with Him.”
Braden closed his eyes and began to fervently pray. Lord, please show me the way. Give me the courage to be the man I want to be. Let me stick this thing out with Piper and help her get the diner in a solid place before I tell her the truth.
Why did it seem as if his attempt at redemption was stalled? Helping Piper with the diner wasn’t alleviating any of his guilt. Perhaps there was only one way to truly find the closure he was seeking. He knew now what he had to do. Whether he stuck around town or not, he needed to be completely honest with Piper. He would wait until after Christmas and then tell her what he’d been holding on to for the last four years. Then and only then would he be able to look her in the eye and know he was being a friend in the truest sense of the word.
* * *
Piper had no idea how she was going to last all day at the diner without looking at Braden. Ever since he’d shown up this morning, she’d been avoiding being alone with him or making more than minimal eye contact. Last night had been euphoric until the point when she’d shared a kiss with Braden. She’d actually lost sleep over it because her stomach had been tied up in knots.
What had she been thinking by kissing him back? She should have pushed him away rather than melting into his embrace. And she’d ended up being totally embarrassed when he’d instantly regretted kissing her then told her he might be leaving Owl Creek. It had served as a one-two kick in the gut. This type of situation between them was unprecedented and incredibly awkward. If someone had told her last year that she and Braden would share a tender kiss in the future, Piper would have laughed them right out of town.
