Page 116 of First Bride to Fall
His voice was husky when he said, “Yeah. I guess we are.”
He scanned her eyes, searching for something, some earthly way to salvage this. But no. The fragile thing between them had broken into too many shards to be put back together. They were wrecked. That didn’t mean they couldn’t share one last goodbye.
Grant tugged Nell up against him, and she latched onto his shirt, pulling him nearer as he devoured her mouth with torrid hot kisses, singeing their souls with a bittersweet goodbye. She whimpered, and they deepened their ardor, clinging onto each other for dear life. But, even as his mouth burned hot and his heart caught fire, blazing like the brightest supernova, Grant knew this was no good.
He released her, panting hard.
Their ship had sunk, and there was no saving it anymore.
“Stay tonight,” he said. “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”
Chapter Twenty
Nell stared at the campfire, barely tasting her food. She poked at her baked beans and tots, but everything tasted like cardboard. The hot dogs were the worst of all. But that hardly mattered.
After her fight with Grant, she felt anything but hungry. Guilt clawed at her soul over hoarding her secrets—the ones about Aidan and that bet. If she’d told him sooner, he might have walked, yeah. But maybe that was an outcome she should have been willing to accept.
“Thanks for making the dinner,” he said, making an effort to be civil. “It’s all really good.”
“You’re welcome.” Those were the first two words she’d uttered since they’d come out here. It had grown colder, and they both wore their jackets over their sweaters.
“You don’t really have to sleep out here in the tent if you don’t want to. You can sleep in the bedroom. Or I can go ahead and drive you home tonight.”
She set her plate down on her lap. She’d scarcely touched a bite.
“No, really. It’s fine. We’re both… What I mean is, it’s dark and probably better for both of us if we go in the morning.”
“The sleeping bag is graded for below-zero temperatures.”
“Nice.” She doubted very seriously she would feel the cold. Every part of her body was numb, including her heart. A bag of marshmallows sat on the table between them. Graham crackers and chocolate bars, too. But they were never going to make those s’mores.
She swallowed past the burn in her throat.
Not tonight or any night.
“I don’t think I want to eat anymore.” She stood, holding her plate.
He exhaled and set his elbows on his knees. “Yeah, me neither.”
Operation Ditch Me had totally failed, and now she was the one walking away. She couldn’t have felt more terrible if she tried. The memory of Grant’s goodbye kiss washed over her, making her want to weep so hard. But she wasn’t going to do it. Even though her world was falling apart and her heart cleaving in two, she wasn’t going to let Grant see her cry.
She walked into the cabin and set their plates in the sink while Grant stayed out by the campfire. She’d pack up her things so she’d be ready to go first thing in the morning. Then she’d turn in early so she wouldn’t have to deal with Grant. Being around him now was just too hard. She should have known better than to devise her plan: Operation First Bride. What a joke that seemed like now. She guessed she would be the “first bride” in a way, since she’d be off to marry Aidan.
With Grant out of the picture, there was no other guy she’d want to pursue. She didn’t have the heart. Better to wall that heart up and lock it away during those five long years she’d be married to Aidan. Then maybe afterward she’d have a chance for true love again. Or not. Either way, she’d learned a lot during her time here with Grant. Apart from acquiring new skills, she’d become better at standing up for herself. She’d never been very good at that before. But she was now—and would be in the future, going forward.
She returned outside a few minutes later wearing her PJs under her jacket and carrying her pillow and a blanket. She also held her knitting project.
“I’m going to turn in now,” she told Grant.
He frowned, worry creasing his brow. “Nell, really—you don’t have to stay out here.”
“You know what?” Her eyes felt moist. “I’d kind of prefer it.”
He seemed to know what that meant. She’d rather take chances with bears and coyotes in her mind than spend one more minute in the cabin with him.
He handed her the camping lantern. “I’ll leave the door unlocked in case you want to come back inside.”
She stepped through the flap of the tent and turned, knowing she had to say it and that it was way past time. “Grant?”
