Page 24 of Redemption in the Dark (The Righteous 5)
She would’ve tried for a fourth, but her arm was too tired from the lack of sleep. Reluctantly, she removed her fingers and rubbed her body down, hoping to wash away some of the trail dirt before she leaned back and floated for a few minutes. Once the chill of the water set in, she slowly made her way to shore and slipped on her boots to wander toward the saddle pack. Her hand paused on the pack as her eyes found the pommel and bit her lip. It was tempting, very fucking tempting to see what that would feel like, but she pushed the demons down and grabbed the blanket instead.
She wrapped it around her shoulders and went back to her clothes to give them as good of a scrub as she could in the water before hanging them up to dry in the afternoon sun. She already had a small fire started and was warming up a couple of cans they’d grabbed from another Ranger station along the way by the time Wolf arrived back at the campsite.
He didn’t speak or look at her, and her heart sank for some stupid reason. She’d never had an issue getting a man to look at her or to want her. If anything, she always ended up with unwanted attention, so this attitude and this man were out of her comfort zone, but so were the feelings he inflicted. Men had always been simple to understand. Show them a wet pussy. They use it and move on. But this man…she couldn’t figure out.
Clearing her throat, she said, “I’m sorry.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him pause in wiping down Viho with a towel.
“For what exactly?”
“You’re going to make me say it?”
Wolf continued working at rubbing out the sweaty saddle mark on the horse’s back. Something he did whenever they stopped to rest. Something about the simple act of dedication and care toward the animal fascinated her and she felt a tug in her chest.
“Yeah, I am.” He looked over at her, and she couldn’t hold the stare that felt like he was looking into her scarred soul to see all that was hidden there. “Maeve, I don’t even know if you know what you’re apologizing for.”
“Of course I do. I’m sorry for purposely stripping and hitting on you like I did.”
His hand slowly slipped over the shiny coat that was free of the sweat once more. “Fine, apology accepted. Now tell me why you did it?”
She turned to glare at him. “What the hell difference does that make?”
“Because your visceral reaction was not normal.” He pointed toward the water. “The entire ride has felt like your soul is on fire with something dark. It’s like something deep in your psyche is trying to claw its way out.”
“What the fuck!” She bolted to her feet and pulled the blanket tight around her body. “Who the fuck gives you the right to make a judgment call like that about me? I could simply like sex and saw an opportunity. Are you sexist or something?”
The look on his face instantly told her that she’d made a mistake. Her quick anger and defensive attitude had given him all the confirmation he needed that he was hitting way too close to the mark. Wolf continued to stare at her calmly, and with each second, her anger notched a little higher.
“You know what forget it. I don’t even know what I saw in you.” Stomping to the fire’s far side, she laid down and curled into a tiny ball.
Wolf started to sing, and his voice was warm and smooth as it washed over her. It was a soft song that reminded her of a lullaby. She didn’t understand the words, but at first, she found it soothing as the anger in her chest loosened its grip. A crack suddenly opened in her soul. A crack in the armor she’d wrapped herself in to deal with the pain of what she’d endured.
A lone tear slid slowly down her cheek. She could hear him moving around the small camp, and with each note, he sang the raw emotion she’d buried deep within her soul. It was trying to rip loose. She bit her lip and closed her eyes tight as she tried to stave off the new wave of feelings that were threatening to drown her.
She never looked at the scars that marred her, the scars that made her into this person. The scars that had damaged her psyche, as Wolf had put it. To stare at them was to acknowledge what happened and when she did that, she drank too much, partied too hard, stuck shit in her body that never should be there, and all control was swept away—anything to ease the pain.
Overcome with emotion, she needed to get away from him and his voice. It was apparently attached to the door that led to all that she’d buried deep inside her. Jumping to her feet, she’d only gone a couple of steps when Wolf’s arms wrapped around her from behind. She let out a strangled gasp as she fought the tears that wanted to transform into ragged sobs.
“You need to stop running from the demons that haunt you,” he whispered in her ear. “Let me help you.”
“No one can fix what’s wrong with me,” she said.
As the reality of her words registered in her brain, a dam was opened. She tried to collapse to her knees, but Wolf held her up and turned her in his arms. She bawled like she hadn’t done since she was a child, since the first night some man she thought she could trust crawled into bed with her.
Maeve knew that Wolf had started to sing again as his arms gripped her to his chest tight. Her body shook, and she wasn’t able to catch a breath as the raw emotion continued to rape her soul. She could feel their disgusting hands on her body, and she thrashed in Wolf’s grasp so she could run, but he wouldn’t let her go. His arms were like chains cinching tighter and keeping her in place as more and more of the memories and emotions surfaced.
“Make it stop, please,” she wailed. “I can’t take anymore.”
Wolf immediately stopped singing.
“Shhhh, you’re okay. Just breathe,” he whispered as his hand rubbed circles into her back. “Go to sleep. I’ll make sure they don’t get you.”
As her eyes got heavy and her body went lax in his arms, she had to wonder if he was part magician, and then there was nothing but blackness.
* * *
Wolf scoopedMaeve’s body up into his arms as she passed out. It always took a lot out of a person to battle their greatest foe. For most, it was their own mind, and Maeve was no exception. He may not know the details of what happened to her, but he felt her pain. To always be so in tune with those in the world around you was exhausting, and it was why he lived on a ranch with tons of space and animals rather than being near a large number of people.
