Page 2 of Hiding In the Dark (The Righteous 4)
“So, what you’re saying is that there is a chance I won’t get any worse?” she’d hedged. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she remembered the doctor’s expression, the pressure building behind her eyes.
“It is a very slim possibility, but theoretically, it is possible with the right medication and if you take all the steps I’ve laid out for you to follow.”
The elevator dinged. It was at the wrong floor, the growing panic was making her hands shake and her breathing quicken. She was tempted to get out and run the rest of the way down the staircase, but she missed her chance. Too many people made their way through the sliding silver doors, and she squished herself into the corner. The man in front of her stepped on her foot, and she glared at his back when he didn’t notice. She jerked her foot out from under his, and he still didn’t apologize.
Rude.
Didn’t he know she’d just received life-altering news? Did any of these people give a shit about what she was going through? No, of course not. The woman across the way was too busy on the phone discussing what she was going to cook for dinner while the guy in the middle was annoyingly humming some stupid song.
Her heart fluttered with a wild burst of emotion that shifted between annoyance and desperation. She sucked in a deep breath and gripped the silver railing to help hold the semblance of her emotional state together.
As soon as the doors opened, she pushed her way out through the throng of people and speed-walked for the exit. Bursting outside, she lifted her hand to block the bright glare of the setting sun. She had to get out of there.
Waving like a wild woman, she flagged down a passing taxi and yanked open the door, slamming it behind her.
“Where to?” the driver asked.
Ashley just stared at him in the rear-view mirror, unsure what to say. She didn’t want to go back to her apartment and sit there alone.
“Lady, I’m sorry, but you need to pick a location or I have to take the next customer.”
“Salvation Place, take me there, please.” The driver gave her a once-over, and normally, she would feel compelled to explain that she wasn’t going there for a free meal or a place to stay. People seemed to want to believe the worst of others, as if just because she was going to a shelter, it meant she was scamming the system.
It was windy that evening. The palm trees’ leaves billowed out like bright green flags as the tops of the trees swayed. The sun’s reflection rippled like bright orange and pink waves off of the glass buildings. Ashley dug around in the small green backpack she carried and pulled out her phone. The problem was she didn’t know who to call.
She stared at the dark screen, her own image staring back at her on the shiny surface. Her mother and father would mean well, but she could already hear that conversation, and it was not one she wanted to have right now. It would be all about positive thinking and for her to keep her chin up—that she should’ve started meditation sooner and that she needed to move back home so they could help take care of her.
She didn’t need taking care of, she didn’t need to be more positive, and she sure as heck didn’t need to have her feelings dusted aside with a simple ‘keep your chin up’ when she was entitled to her feelings. Giving up on the idea, she put the phone back into the bag and pulled out her wallet as they neared her destination.
“Thanks,” she said, and as the car came to a halt, she handed over more money than she needed to. She just wanted to get out of the car, keep moving, and not think too much right now. Thinking led to feelings, and feelings were going to lead to a breakdown.
“Hey, lady, this is way too much!”
She closed the door, ignoring the driver and jogging toward the big old church that had been converted a few years earlier.
“Hey, Charlie,” she called out, waving to the elderly man that had worked there as a caretaker longer than it had been a shelter.
“You’re early.” Charlie leaned against the mop he was using to clean the floor. His weathered face, with the distinct smile lines around his eyes, crinkled as he gave her a scrutinizing look.
“Yeah, I got off work early. Is Dennis in yet?” She continued toward the door to the back, not wanting to get into a heart-to-heart. Right about now, she wished she’d stayed in drama class. Maybe then she would’ve learned not to wear her heart on her sleeve like a neon sign.
“He’s in his office. Ashley?” She paused, hand on the wooden door, and plastered a smile on her face as she looked over her shoulder at Charlie. “Are you okay, girl? I don’t mean to pry, but you seem off.”
She waved her hand in the air and made a goofy face, sure that Charlie saw right through her ploy. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just work stuff, family stuff, you know how it is.”
“Mmhmm.” Charlie lifted a brow at her but started whistling as he continued to mop the floor.
Sighing, she pushed through the door and nodded to the few homeless folks that were already there for the night, or maybe they hadn’t left. Beds were hard to come by, and some of those that stayed there regularly rarely left their bed and the small space that was given to them to stay in.
The open space looked like it was set up for an office building. Dennis, who managed the place, had wanted to give people some privacy and found old cubicle partitions tossed away by a large corporation. The setup didn’t allow for as many beds, but she had to admit that if she were living here, she’d want some small space to call her own.
Ashley passed the dining hall and waved to those that were already setting up the long table for food service, but she continued down the hall to the lone office in the back. Dennis’s door was closed, and she paused, going over the lie she planned on telling for as long as she could get away with it.
Stupid or not, Ashley couldn’t face what her new reality was going to be, couldn’t even think the words. Plastering a smile on her face, she knocked on the office door.
“It’s open,” Dennis called back.
She opened the door to find him pacing the room on the phone—he held up a finger. “What do you want me to do? We are a not-for-profit organization. We rely on donations to keep our doors open to those that need us most…what? That’s completely unreasonable. How are we supposed to raise that much money that quickly?” There was a long pause as Dennis listened to whoever was on the other end, his face growing redder by the second. Ashley worried he was going to have a stroke. “Oh yeah? Happy fucking Thanksgiving to you too.” He went to slam his phone down and then realized it was a cell and hit the end button japing his finger violently onto the screen like he was trying to the same effect.
