Page 73 of Sleeping with the Dark (The Righteous 3)
“Don’t be a stick in the mud. Come join me.” Mel waved him over.
He stuffed his hands in his pant pockets and strolled his way across the beach to stare down at her. “Am I dying again? Was I shot in my sleep or bleeding out, and no one knows?”
Mel rolled her eyes at him. “Who says they don’t know? Maybe they’re the ones that shot you. The Lord knows I thought about it a time or two.” She smiled wickedly and then laughed. “Always so dramatic, and you say Arek is the dramatic one. He can’t hold a candle to you.”
“Oh, please, do not compare me to my brother.” Trev crossed his arms over his chest. “I love him, but he is—nevermind.”
She held out her hand, and he instinctively reached for her. She felt warm and soft as he slipped his hand into hers. “Just sit with me for a minute,” Mel said.
Trev lowered himself down to the large log, and they sat in silence except for the soft rippling of the water and the chirping of birds. Unable to take it any longer, he turned to stare at Mel’s profile.
“If I’m not dying, then why am I here? Why am I seeing you now after all this time? I mean, where were you when I really needed to see you? Where were you when I was drinking too much and closed myself off from the world as I buried myself in work?”
“That’s a lot of why’s to unpack.” She gave him her teasing smirk. Reaching out, she lifted the chain around his neck and held their mutual tag and the ring he bought for her in her hand. “I would’ve said yes, you know? I didn’t need a grand gesture or some fairy tale moment. We were the fairy tale moment.” Her eyes locked with his. “Trev, I’m here because you’re still holding on to me, but you have no more reason too.”
“Of course, I’m going to hang on to our memories, my feelings. I can’t just sweep that away. You can’t expect that of me.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to do that, and I will be honest. Selfishly, I don’t want you to.” Mel laid the dog tags on his chest and linked their fingers together.
“Then what do you mean,” Trev asked, his frustration and pain churning in his gut. Seeing her again to say goodbye had been one thing, but now this was an evil tease. To touch her and smell her and talk to her, but knowing it was fleeting was a horrible trick on his system.
“Why didn’t you say I love you?”
“What do you mean? I told you I loved you every day. Usually more than that.” Mel cocked her eyebrow at him. Her patented don’t be stupid look crossing her face. “You mean Cody.” Trev looked away from her intense stare to take in the serene water.
“He told you he loves you, and you side-stepped it. Why?” She squeezed his hand, and he looked away as she tried to catch his stare.
“Because I don’t know if I do yet, why are you pushing this so hard?” Trev released Mel’s hand and stood, going to the water’s edge. The cool water slipped over his feet and backed out again in a perfect rhythmical fashion.
“Trevor Alexander Anderson, don’t you dare try to pull that shit on me. I know you love him. I can see it in your eyes. I know better than anyone what that warm puppy look means.”
“I don’t have a puppy look,” Trev mumbled.
Mel closed the distance and took his hands in hers once more. “Stop holding back. You asked why I am here now? I’m here because you weren’t ready to move on before, but you are now, and yet you are clinging to what was. You may say you have left the past behind, but it’s time to prove it.”
He took a deep breath. “I hate that you know me so well.”
She gave him a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes this time. “What we had was a gift, but so is this new life you’ve built. Grasp it and hang on with all you have.” Mel laid her hand on his cheek and ran her thumb across his skin. It felt warm and familiar. It was a gesture she’d done a million times over their years together.
“He pushed me away. I can’t play those games—I won’t play those games. You know, if I’m in, I’m all in. If I say those words—” Trev ran a hand through his hair as he pictured what it was like knowing Cody was down the hall but had locked him out. The pain of being physically, emotionally, and mentally pushed away—he never wanted to do that again.
“I know, but don’t you think you’re being a bit hard on him? He’s never been in a relationship before, never had a stable home. You’re the first real relationship untainted by scars. He’s going to need a moment to catch up to the great and wonderful Trevor Anderson.” She raised her voice and lifted her hand in the air like she was announcing him into a boxing match.
“Really, you went there.” He tried for annoyance but knew she would see right through it.
“Someone has to give you a slap upside the head. The two of you are going to have growing pains, but he is right for you.”
“It’s hard for me to hear you say this, Mel.” He shook his head and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I thought that about you.” He couldn’t help feeling small as he looked down to the ground. Like he was a kid begging to have his toy back after his parents had taken it away.
Taking his chin in her hand, she forced him to look at her. “I want you to be happy and to step into this new life you’ve built. Tell him how you really feel, Trev. I mean it. Don’t hold back because of me, not anymore.”
“You always did know how to get your way.” He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Okay, if this is what you really want, then I will.”
“No, no more if it is what I want. The point is for you to start doing what you want.” The breeze picked up a little more, the scent of jasmine and honeysuckle strong in the air. Mel looked over her shoulder and then back up at him.
“You have to go,” Trev asked as she sighed.
“No, you do. Time to wake up, Trev.” Raising up on her toes, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “I won’t be back. This is your final push off the ledge to a second chance. Don’t waste it.” She walked behind him, running her hand across his shoulders. “I’ll see you in another life, soldier boy.”
