Page 67 of The Do-Over
THEA
Thea knew she should stop the kiss. It was only happening because Rob was caught in the past. It was only happening because he felt like he was still the teenage version of himself. It wasn’t real.
But it felt real.
It felt like he was the Rob she had said goodbye to when they had left for college. The Rob who had stopped outside her house on his last day in Deer Ridge—on his way out of town, heading to Chicago and his beautiful new life—and waved to her from his car, after they hadn’t spoken in weeks.
If she had run out of the house to him that day and told him that college didn’t matter and that she would follow him anywhere, this was the kiss they would have shared.
The taste of his lips, the scent of him, the way his hand traced the line of her spine, making her feel like a treasure—it was all so wonderfully familiar.
And for a blissful moment, Thea allowed herself to sink into it, and to remember what it felt like to love him.
But it was never him I loved. It was never me he loved.
She couldn’t banish that thought from her head.
They had loved each other, yes, but not as adults. Adult Rob had never loved adult Thea, and she’d never loved him. They were living out a teenage fantasy.
It was enough to remind her that this wasn’t reality. She pulled away and stood up.
“We should go home,” she said. “Unless…did you want to stay longer?”
He looked very confused. She wasn’t surprised. He’d just talked about some very painful things from his past, as well as accessing some old memories that had been lost to him until now. And then there was that kiss, of course. He must be feeling all kinds of conflict right now.
“No,” he said. “You’re right. We should go home.”
He got up and walked past her to the door without looking back.
Their journey home was made in total silence. The only sounds were the crunching of their footsteps in the snow and the quiet sound of their breathing. Thea tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind.
What would I talk to him about? The kiss? Or what he told me about his father?
Both seemed wrong to bring up, somehow.
She was relieved when they reached the house and didn’t have to walk along in awkward silence anymore. She unlocked the door and let them in.
Immediately, Rob disappeared to his room.
Thea went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine. She didn’t resent that he wanted privacy. Today had been a lot. Anybody would be struggling after all that. Of course he wanted time to himself.
She went to her own room, but left the door open. She poured a liberal amount of the wine into a plastic cup and drank slowly.
Now what?
It was clear that Rob’s memories were starting to return in earnest. She was glad for him, of course, but what did that mean for the two of them? Was he going to want to leave the house as soon as he remembered all the details of his adult life?
She worried that he would.
And she shouldn’t be worrying about that, because she had always known that he would leave. That was the plan. That had always been the plan. This was a very temporary arrangement.
It was just that she wasn’t ready for him to go. Now that their separation seemed imminent—again—she found herself wishing she could think of a way to make him stay after he got his memories back.
There was no way it could be done, though. He had a hotel room reserved already. He would want to go there. There was no reason for him to stay with her once he was capable of taking care of himself. He’d go and get his award—which was the reason he had come here in the first place—and then he would go back to Chicago.
He would remember that he didn’t love her now.
She wasn’t sure why he didn’t remember that part already. His feelings seemed not to have abandoned him, even though his memories. He had reported a sense of familiarity when they were standing outside the high school.
