Page 25 of The Lies I Told
“Growing up sucks.”
I walked to the fridge, pulled out a cold canned seltzer, and pressed it to my temple. “It can.”
“After the car, what did you do? The wedding was seven hours ago.”
“I drove down to the James River. And then up to your old house.”
“Oh, Marisa, not that again.”
“What do you mean, not again?”
Silence settled. “The week before your accident, you went down to the river a lot. It was feeling like an obsession.”
“How do you know that?”
“You told me when we had lunch.”
I hesitated, trying to remember seeing Jo-Jo the week before the accident. I couldn’t find a memory of it. “I’ve taken lots of pictures down there.”
“It was never about the pictures.” She sighed. “Look, I don’t want to rehash that week. It was awful enough.”
“No, please serve it up. I still don’t remember the week or seeing you and I want to.” I walked to the collection of black-and-white photos on my wall.
“We had lunch the Wednesday before. You were asking a lot of questions about Clare.”
“Why?”
“You know you go through times when you’re desperate to remember every detail.”
That was true. There were days and weeks when the particulars of my sister’s murder were all I could think about. In the first few years, I drank to shut off the endless questions. Hell, I’d done that for the better part of thirteen years.
I popped the can’s top. “What kind of questions was I asking about Clare?”
“You wanted to know if I’d seen her at the party before she vanished. I remember her dancing in my parents’ den with a bunch of people. Her arms were waving in the air, but she wasn’t smiling. I thought she was you for a second.”
“You said she fought with Kurt?”
“He came up to her, said something, and she blew him off. He reached for her, but she held up her hand as if to tell him to stop. I was too far away to hear what they said.”
“Kurt said they didn’t fight.”
“I’m sure he did.”
“What happened next?”
“I got distracted with Sam. He was being his charming self.”
I knew about succumbing to charm. “And?”
“And then before I realized, it was midnight, a neighbor called the cops, and then there was hell to pay. I spent the rest of the night cleaning up.”
“We’re still living and breathing,” I said, more to myself.
Jo-Jo’s parents had been legally liable for the party full of underage drinkers. Both had lost their jobs, and my father had filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million in punitive damages. They’d settled out of court.
Jo-Jo had hated leaving Richmond before her high school junior year. She’d lashed out at me, blaming my family for causing so much trouble for her parents. Yes, I should have been there. Would I have, if not for that pill Jack gave me? It was my fault that Clare had wandered off with a stranger. If I’d been there, she wouldn’t have left with him. Ten years would pass before Jo-Jo and I had a civil conversation. By then, I’d forgiven Jo-Jo, her parents, and everyone except the killer and me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to churn this up.”
