Page 66 of West (The Moral Compass 1)
“Okay, I’ll go first.” Fuck it, I’m on a roll now. West chuckles, and I just give him the death stare.
“So, I didn’t know who you were. I was told you left when I was a child. I also know that is not true. What I don’t know is how you could have been with a woman like her.”
“Ah, Sutton. You’re right. I didn’t even know about you until after ‘the incident’.” His voice quietens, and his skin flushes. “I didn’t even know it was you I supplied the phones for. Your mother wasn’t always the way she is now. She did have a selfish side to her and wanted things that would make others envy her. She wanted to be the world’s number one at everything, and she would have been, too, if greed hadn’t taken her. The more money she had, the more she wanted. She was getting greedy.” He takes a break, takes a swig of his drink, and carries on.
“I had strong suspicions that she was taking drugs. When it came to the end of our relationship I was devastated. I loved her, Sutton. I would have done anything for her. She was getting high every day until I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought she was giving us a chance when she checked in to rehab.” He took another big swig and a long breath. His damp eyes met mine.
“What I didn’t realise was she was bloody dealing them. I don’t mean just dealing with the locals, I mean bloody importing them. She’d met some guy over in Venezuela when she was on a shoot. From the outside, Sutton, it would look like he was in charge and that she had been taken in, but make no mistake. She was the boss. She’d been flying around the world on modelling assignments all as a guise. When the police started to get close, she checked into rehab. It had nothing to do with loving me like I originally thought. She went into hiding and stayed there until the heat had cooled down. I didn’t know when she was released, and I didn’t know where she went. My heart was broken, Sutton. I really, honestly, and truthfully loved her. I hired private detectives, but they came up with nothing. It was about a year after she’d gone into rehab that one of them reported she’d been released. He was the one that filled in the blanks, and it was that day I made the decision to cut my losses and forget she ever happened. I thought I was going to die that day, Sutton. The pain was unbearable, but I couldn’t abide anyone related to drugs, and she had made it clear she didn’t want me.”
He sobbed the last couple of sentences, and West refilled his glass. I took his hand in both of mine. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and I just nodded. I understood and believed everything he said. She was evil through and through, and she had managed to capture the heart of an innocent man.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, Mark, but you had a lucky escape. I look back to my childhood and can never remember a time when there was any spare money. She always told me we were poor. I went to school in second-hand clothes and shoes given to me by Kara’s mum. My Aunty Sarah tried to help, but Stella shut her off and made her back away. The things she did were indescribable. She had people in her pocket, I can see that now, but, at the time, I didn’t have anyone other than Kara and her family.”
Talking this through was not as tough as I expected. What I didn’t expect was to feel a connection with the man sitting on the sofa. He looked so sad, desperate, and broken.
“I’m so sorry, Sutton. If I had known, I would have come for you. You have to believe me. I would have never lived these years without you.” His tone is urgent and fast, and he is searching my face for a response.
I believe him. West has already told me he is a good man. From his photos, he looks all-powerful and strong, but the man here with me now is nowhere near that. The man sitting here is a father. My father.
I take a deep breath and break a smile. “Okay, so I’ve just about had enough of dragging over her decrepit old bones for one day. How about you tell me more about you and my sister… Dad?”
He jumps up from the sofa, pulls me up to stand, and, again, I’m embraced in a bear hug. But this time there are more arms. West, Liz, North, Kara, South and East—the whole family is there, and I’m wrapped completely in love.
It takes a few days of walking, talking, texting, and sharing our pasts, but we seem to have gotten to a really good place. I have just one element of doubt. How will my sister take to me? She’s been an only child all her life. The apple of her father’s eye. And then I come along. He’s said she is over the moon, and she can’t wait to meet me, but I can’t help wonder if she is just being kind to her father. I know I would probably have some reservations if someone tried to get in on my one-woman show, but I’d also like to think I would be gracious enough to give them a go.
Well, we’ll soon find out.
***
I walk along the river towards a café where I will meet her for the first time.
I open the doors, and the place is completely empty except for one person. As I walk through the door, she stands and opens her arms.
Woah, okay.
I walk into the embrace as she breaks down in tears.
“Hey, come on. I’m not that bad.” I try to lighten the mood, but she keeps sobbing. She’s saying something, but I seriously can’t work out what. I get her to sit back down and stuff loads of napkins from the table in her hand. I take her other hand and start to count. Just like West taught me. Let’s face it, I’m the big sister. I need to be present and here for her.
Eventually she settles, eyes red and puffy.
“Hi,” I say with a big grin.
“Hi,” she replies, returning my smile.
With the ice broken, we spend the next two hours drinking coffee, eating cake, and talking about our childhoods. They couldn’t have been more different, but I wasn’t jealous or bitter. Mine had made me the person I am and given me Kara. If I had been brought up anywhere else, I wouldn’t have her in my life and, for that, I would pay any price. I fire off a text to West and, within minutes, the café is filled with the family.
“Sutton, sweetheart, I need to ask you something,” Dad says, smiling from ear to ear. It feels weird saying Dad.
“Okay, shoot.” I smile back, and I look to West. He is also grinning like a bloody fool. “What’s going on?” I ask.
“Well, I have a position open at Technolabs. I know you recently took a job with West, but with everything going on you’ve not really started, so I was wondering if I could pinch you. He’s told me how wonderfully talented you are. Please, Sutton?”
I look over to Danika, my sister. I don’t want to rock the boat when we have just set sail. I look to West, and he’s still smiling. Fear rises in my chest.
“Do you want to get shot of me so soon?” I ask, getting angrier with every word I say.
West looks to Dad. “Didn’t I say she would say those exact words?” He laughs. “No, beautiful, I do not want to get shot of you. But Mark has made an offer that you need to mull over. Please remember, Sutton, I am not your keeper. I don’t make decisions for you, but I will stand by your side whichever way you go.”
