Page 11 of Fire and Rain
Back on his bedside table, his alarm sounded.
Good fucking morning.
He walked back to his bed, turned off the alarm, then hit the shower, wishing the hot water could wash the lingering emotions of the dream down the drain. It was bad enough dealing with those memories during his waking hours. Now, he was getting twisted versions of that night in his nightmares. That was the third time he’d dreamed about the explosion this week. And no matter how the scene played out, Justin died.
Post-traumatic stress.
The Coast Guard required its members to get counseling after incidents involving injuries or fatalities. He, James, Wade, and even Lt. Yamada had been required to go through a few evaluation sessions and be cleared before they returned to active duty. If they knew he was having nightmares now…
He dried off and put on his ODUs—operational dress uniform—and walked over to the galley for breakfast. A thick fog lay over land and water, the scent of rain mingled with the reek of rotting seaweed.
Life in Kodiak.
Inside the galley, he saw Wade sitting with Trey. James Spurrier ate breakfast with a few other pilots, all lieutenants or lieutenants junior grade. Lt. Yamada sat alone, reading a newspaper. Some of the newer enlisted guys from the shop crew were seated together—Chris, Samantha, Matt, Amanda, Rock, and Kai.
No one had noticed him yet, so Sean filled up a plate with scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, and sliced fruit and carried it with a cup of hot coffee toward an empty table, preferring to eat alone. But before he could sit, Trey and Wade motioned to him to join them.
Shit.
He didn’t feel like talking with anyone, but he couldn’t ignore them. He walked to their table and took a seat. “Hey.”
“Must be nice to have the use of your hand again.” Wade passed him the salt and pepper.
“Thanks. It is.”
“I saw you’ve got your fitness eval later today.” Trey stirred sugar into his coffee. “Do you think you’re up for it?”
“I doubt I’ll be able to finish the upper-body portion.” Fifty pushups followed by chin-ups and pull-ups was going to be hard for his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure this is just to see how far I still have to go.”
“If anyone can do it, you can. You’ve come a long way already. When we lifted you out of the water, I thought you might be looking at a medical discharge, but…” Trey’s words trailed off, as if he realized this might not be Sean’s idea of great breakfast conversation.
“The Medical Evaluation Board is sure I’ll be back on active duty soon.” Sean took a drink of coffee, then started on his breakfast.
Wade changed the subject. “What’s Crab Fest about? Is it a good time?”
He’d arrived in Kodiak last summer.
Trey answered. “You’re going to love it, man. The whole town turns out—not to mention tourists. It’s like a county fair meets a celebration of everything that is awesome about Kodiak. It’s a great place to meet women.”
“Are you going?” Wade asked Sean.
“I went once. I’ve been on duty most years and couldn’t.” Sean didn’t want to hang out with crowds right now. He felt like an outsider these days, as if some part of him was no longer in sync with everyone else.
Apparently, realizing he didn’t feel much like talking, Trey and Wade moved on and began planning a day of mountain biking for their next shared day off, talking about the best trails and looking at maps on Trey’s phone.
Sean finished his breakfast. “See you guys later.”
He carried his tray with its dishes to the bins, then left the galley and made his way toward the rec center. He wanted to stretch and do some PT before the fitness test. It wouldn’t change the outcome, but it might keep him from reinjuring his arm.
* * *
Eden dragged through the morning,doing her best to be cheerful around Maverick. He deserved a mother who was focused on his needs rather than lost in her grief. She didn’t want him to see her in tears all the time. But today washard.
Last night, she’d dreamed about Justin. He’d been here, alive and happy, with her and Maverick. They’d sat in the kitchen talking and laughing the way they had so many other days. So many precious days. And for the brief time of that dream, the shadows around Eden’s heart had lifted. She’d been indescribably happy to be with him, so relieved to see him alive again—only to be slammed by loss the moment the dream had ended and she’d opened her eyes.
It had felt like losing Justin again.
She had struggled to get through breakfast without crying. She’d called her mother and asked her to please come and help with Maverick for a few hours. Eden needed a shower. Maybe the three of them could go for a short hike on Old Woman Trail to forage—anything to dull the ache in her chest.
