Page 20 of Hot Shot Rock Star
Because she looks tired and maybe something else, but I can’t put my finger on it. I keep brushing it aside, assigning it to the drive here and traffic. But since she didn’t drive I’m not sure how I can kid myself.
At the end of the night, when Majik is tucked away in her guest room and Dooley is settled on the living room couch, lying in the dark snuggled against Ben, who for the first time didn’t seduce me into love-making because of our company and I’m okay with that, I find myself fighting a new demon. Worry about Majik and her health. I almost laugh at myself. Maybe a little of Ben’s rubbed off on me. He’s the one who’s worried about the future. I’m the one who’s always been haunted by the past.
“Bennie. You awake?” He chuckles low and pulls me tighter against him.
“Why? You need something, babe?” I hear the tease in his voice and my body and heart respond with a zip of raw desire tingling through me from head to toe like he’s flipped a switch.
“I wasn’t, but now that you mentioned it—” He whispers in my ear.
“What is it, Jaz?” His words and his breath tickling all those tiny hairs make me shiver deliciously so that I almost forget my worry. But not quite.
“It’s Majik. I’m worried.” He immediately raises himself up on his elbow and turns my face to his.
“You are? What is it? She looks tired, but…”
“That’s probably all it is.” My heart speeds up. I want to believe that so much and if Ben says that’s what it is, then it must be.
“I don’t know, babe. I’ll ask my dad to pay attention and see what he thinks tomorrow. It’s his specialty.”
“What? Sneaking an exam when the patient isn’t looking?” I’m breathing easier now, my heart is calming. Bennie has a solution. He’s the worry slayer now. He’s always been the demon slayer. I want him to be my everything slayer more than anything.
“Geriatrics is his new specialty after years of seeing older patients. Ever since his own medical issues happened, he’s narrowed his focus.”
“I thought he stopped seeing patients.” He laughs.
“Never happen. He’s a relentless bastard.”
“Sounds like someone I know,” I say. He chuckles and holds me. I melt into him, resting my face against the muscles of his chest, enormous and strong, and listen to his heart beat. The steady rhythm slowing and calming like a rocking chair putting a baby to sleep.
* * *
I thought the scariest,worst thing that ever happened to me, happened in the past, but I was wrong. The more you have to lose, the scarier life gets.
Turkey dinner should be harmless and it mostly is. Ben’s mom and dad are almost as lively as Dooley and Ben laughs and squeezes my thigh under the tablecloth—which Majik brought because she knew we wouldn’t have one and she’s has old-fashioned ideas about tradition and family dinners that she’s dredged up from long ago.
Looking around the table at the colorful food from cranberries to squash, and the mouthwatering stuffing filled turkey, fluffy mashed potatoes, all surrounded by smiling faces, I realize how absolutely perfect this day is. And I should know better, should know it’s all an illusion.
“You too warm, Majik? Let me lower the thermostat.” Ben gets up to make the adjustment. She’s sweating and I reach over to touch her arm but she flinches.
“Arm is killing me,” she says in choppy breathless words, raising the hair-alarms on my arms. The clatter of Dr. Weaver’s fork dropping is the next thing that happens and then a beat of silence as everyone’s attention shifts to Majik. Then all hell breaks loose.
Ben and his dad react fast and as I alternate between holding Ben’s and Mjik’s arms in a death grip, they call an ambulance and get her into a sitting position, leaning back with her knees bent. Ben’s voice is calm, but I hear the edge. His dad is a pro and Mrs. Weaver stays out of the way with Dooley, keeping him as calm as she can, limiting his pacing to a corner and his fretting to murmurs. In a lightening flash of time, we get her to the hospital and I ride with her and Dr. Weaver in the ambulance to hospital, numb as a rock on the outside like I’m in panic-induced shock in spite of the fluttering in my chest and the clench of nausea in my gut.
I wait until we get to the hospital to fall apart as the emergency team rolls my momma Majik away on a cart, her face covered by an oxygen mask and Dr. Weaver hurrying behind. Ben holds me or I’d be on the floor as tears wrack my body. Dooley hands me a handkerchief because he’s the only man left on the planet who carries one.
Taking it, I blow my nose, noisey and thorough because I don’t care what anyone thinks. Right now I care about only one thing . And it hurts so much, I wish I didn’t.
“She’ll be okay, babe. I promise.” Ben murmurs near my ear the way he usually does, but the words aren’t the usual love words.
* * *
"Wake up, Babe.”I’m leaning against him, and I sit up, the grogginess of a sudden nap shedding instantly when the waiting room comes into stark view.
“Fuck.”
He drags me to my feet and takes me with him to where two doctors stand with his dad. None of them look happy. My heart flies into a rage of thumping and I pull from Ben’s arms and rush to hear the godawful truth.
“Jaz.” Ben catches me before I maul the doctor in the middle, before he opens his mouth. He calms me, or tries to, but it’s not working. I still feel like a wild animal, but he holds me still.
