Page 35 of Lucas & Melissa Falling in Love
“Oh no you’re not, Lissy. You’re one of the best people I know. Second only to George.” Her wobbly voice cracked on a small laugh.
I pushed back, undaunted by her warm reassurance as the old apple and the tree adage struck me anew.
“I must take after my horrible father and his even more horrible mother. I have their shitty, nasty genes.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t know a kinder person than you even though you don’t flaunt it. You’re generous and loving and good. You’re a loyal friend and daughter. You never gave your parents a moment of concern or disrespect. You’re the favorite of every doorman in Manhattan, consorting and giving gifts. And I know you don’t think I know it, but I know you tutor young troubled girls at the Y. Now tell me that’s the soul of a nasty person.”
“I have their genes, Margo. I’m shallow and overly ambitious. Lucas—”
“You have your mother’s genes too. I bet she was a kind, lovely woman.”
I chortled and then when I felt the tears slipping out again, I covered my face with my hands. Margo put her arms around me yet again.
I’d forgotten about my mother’s genes. I had no idea what kind of woman she was except that she’d had an affair with a married man and gave her baby—me—up for money. Not my idea of kind and lovely.
Or so I figured, but I had to admit I didn’t know exactly how they’d talked her into it, only that she’d been convinced—or bullied by my grandmother. The wording in the will hadn’t been specific, according to my parents. Myrealparents. Lucas had been right when he said I had a lot more than I’d lost. But that was before I’d lost him.
I looked up at Margo, swiping the last of my tears, because I was determined to stop crying for good, stop the pity party, stop the stupid loathsome false ambitions, all to impress loathsome phantom people. No, not even loathsome, because I didn’t know them. They weren’t people I cared about.
“Oh Margo, I’ve been so wrong about so much. So stupid. Stupid about poor Willie, too.” I cleared my throat. “There’s nothing there, I feel no more than friendship or like he’s my cousin.” I shook my head but the shame was still there.
“I know. I could see it. You’ll have to talk to him at some point. Tonight.”
I nodded. “Lucas was right about me, about everything. And now I’ve lost him and I don’t know how to get him back.”
“Sure you do. He said you should call him when you were ready, didn’t he?”
“I’m not sure why or if he’d still want me.”Call Uber. Were those empty cruel words or should I do it?
“You need to find Lucas and tell him you’re ready.”
“What if I’m not? What if I don’t want to give myself to him, trust him completely with my soul?”What if I don’t deserve him?
“You’re so silly, Lissy. You deserve him.” She knew me too well. I laughed.
“Don’t you see? You’ve already given your heart to him, honey.” Margo gave me a quick hug and then took my hand to lead me back into the party. I was stunned into compliance and silence.
She kept me by her side. My heart lurched. I wasn’t so sure I’d given said poor abused heart to Lucas, but I sure as hell wanted a chance to find out if maybe…
“I need to find my cell phone,” she said in a take-charge way that had always been my role, “and then I’m going to call Uber and search for him. He won’t know it’s you if we use my phone.”
As she spoke, there was a commotion at the door where Walt was taking coats. Burton, my ex, loudly announced his arrival. He sounded drunk. Margo stopped.
I turned and looked and then froze in panic, confusion and elation when I saw the man standing with him.
Lucas towered over Burton, wearing his leather bomber jacket and muscle-hugging black jeans.
“You’ll never guess who I ran into,” Burton shouted when he saw me. “Meet my Uber driver. Lucas. I figured you wouldn’t mind if I invited him up to the party.”
Margo tightened her grip on my arm and I didn’t know who was more anxious, or more likely to sink to the floor without the support of the other.
“How gracious of you, Burton. Lucas is always welcome here.” Margo spoke as if Regal was who she was and not just a name, as if she’d truly risen to the moniker, or maybe she’d always been that way and that was why George loved her and had married her.
I didn’t deserve her as a friend, but I was too busy locking eyes with Lucas’s molten gaze right then to give her the hug she deserved. Without handing his worn leather jacket to Walt, he cut through the light crowd separating us and walked straight toward me. Margo let go of my arm and I stood immobilized, the only thing moving in me my stampeding heart.
“Lucas.” I breathed his name, surprised when I heard my voice aloud as he reached me, stopping less than a foot away. Close, but not close enough. It was like there was a force field of doubt between us, and it was up to me to banish it.
“Melissa.” He nodded slightly, no smile, no explanation about why he’d let Burton of all people drag him up to the party. He must have known Burton’s intention was to humiliate him, me, us. Little did Burton know he’d done me the biggest favor he’d ever done for me, given me my wish for the night, for the year, hell, for forever. I owed Burton for real for this favor.
