Page 86 of Lucas & Melissa Falling in Love
I finish my wine and force down another bite of food. Then I place my fork on my plate decisively and look at my mother. The silence is killing both of us.
“Your hair looks different, Mom. Did you switch hairdressers?” I say. It’s true enough, but still lame. She smiles.
“Leave it to you to notice these things. Thank you, dear. There’s a new girl at the shop I go to.” She darts a glance at Lucas. “I don’t mean to bore you with such talk, Lucas. Please tell us about your family and where you live.”
From that point on, Lucas carries the conversation until we finish with dessert—which I would have gladly skipped, but Lucas gives no indication that he wants to cut the meal short.
After a curt goodbye to my father, where Lucas shakes his hand and I only nod, my mother sees us to the door. It’s a relief to step outside into the cold dark night and breathe in the bracing fresh air.
We get into the car and Lucas takes off. It doesn’t take long for the heat to come up and I take off my scarf and gloves.
As Lucas turns onto the highway ramp to head south back to the city, I check the clock. It’s 7:45.
“What’s our ETA?” I say.
He glances at the clock and says, “9:45.”
“Are we going to talk about this?” I say.
He shrugs. “Not much to say. They weren’t happy about it, but we expected that.” He falls silent but I have a feeling he has more on his mind. I wait him out.
“It’s just that . . . never mind.”
“Never mind? Seriously? You think I’m going to accept that from Mr. Open Communication Share Everything With Me, Melissa?”
He looks rueful, but keeps his eyes on the road.
“I think my father was more than unhappy,” I say. “I think he was angry. And that’s not like him.”
“You would know that better than I would.” We drive another ten miles without talking and I can’t stand it.
“I’m kind of upset that they wouldn’t even share who the lawyer or the adoption agency was. I was counting on getting that for the investigator. What do you think?”
He shrugs again.
“Lucas, I’m sharing my thoughts and you’re not. This isn’t how I do business. It’s the opposite of how I do business, in fact.”
“We’re not in a business relationship, sweetheart.”
That shuts me up—for a millisecond.
“Don’tsweetheartme. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
He heaves a big sigh and looks serious, but keeps his eyes on the road. I’d be laughing at me if I were him because I’m laughable.Don’t sweetheart me? Really?That’s a warning alarm that my poise left town for parts unknown. Another bout of kryptonitis inflicted by Lucas and too much close proximity. I’m like a pet owner who endures a constant low-level allergy but can’t give up the object of my misery.Because he’s also the object of my adoration, my desire, my everything.
But I’m not about to tell Lucas that. Not now. More miles of silence go by.
“I’ll tell you what’s bothering me, if you promise not to get angry,” he says out of nowhere. We’re an hour out of the city now.
“I can handle that.” I used to be good at keeping my cool. This will be a good test.
He glances at me and takes my hand in his. This inspires a little foreboding in me, but I don’t let on.
“I think your father knows more than he’s saying,” he says. I wait for more while I try to digest his words. Now I know why he made me promise not to get angry because that’s my first visceral response deep down when the words register. I’m appalled, but a promise is a promise and I hold it in. For the moment.
He looks at me again sideways, but I don’t meet his eyes. I’m too busy keeping my cool. Finally I allow myself to speak.
“You’re wrong.”
“This is why I didn’t want to say anything. Because you’re right, I could be all wrong.”
“Well youarewrong.” I say this knowing full well he’s always right. But I stomp that from my mind knowing full well that this time he can’t possibly be right.
My father wouldn’t lie to me about a thing like this.
