Page 110 of Lucas & Melissa Falling in Love
“I’m sorry about your loss of Stuart. That must be hard for you now, to be alone.”
She nods and manages a pitiful smile. Even though I won’t ever think of this woman as my mother, probably never feel any real connection with her, I feel compelled to go to her now and give her a hug. I hope that it’ll somehow lessen her guilt if she knows I don’t blame her.
Because now I realize I don’t. I hold nothing against her, or even Stuart, who shall ever remain a ghost to me. And I’m okay with that. The turmoil roiling in me has subsided and all I feel now is sympathy for this woman, this stranger. So I take the three steps toward her and open my arms then close them around her, giving her a hug. She feels small and warm and tense though she relaxes and hugs me back. Neither of us says a word and the silence stills the residual tension until there’s only calm and warmth left in me, in the room.
When I let her go, I know it’s time to leave and I’m almost surprised at the quick pang, but it disappears and I’m sure and confident now. No more nerves or anxiety in me. I’ll make sense of that later. Or maybe never.
“We have to go now. Thank you for meeting with me, for sharing everything. It was an extremely kind act of generosity. I know it’s been painful for you on so many levels. I’m very grateful.” I smile and I feel the sadness of it reflected in her face.
“It was the very least I could do for you.” She tears up and adds in a whisper, “my daughter.”
She turns away as if she can’t watch me go. Lucas tugs on my hand as I stand there staring at her for a beat until he leads me out the door where the maid meets us with our coats. And we leave. Elise and I didn’t talk about the future and I know this is because there is no future. We have no connection. She’s given me everything she had to give today. And I have everything I need from her now.
“She’ll be all right,” Lucas says as we leave the building.
