Page 83 of He Has Charm (Boston Brawlers Hockey)
“I might have thought—forget it.” I feel faint just thinking about it again. “The show will be a kick to do, but I have a lot to learn.” I force myself to keep my head in reality.
“I’m sure you’re up to it. You’re a smart man.” I snort.
“I’m a stupid man because I was going to let you go.”
“I was never going to leave because I love you.”
“You know what, sugar buns?” She shakes her head. “I love you and I have for a long time, but I’m so stupid I refused to believe it.” She laughs and her eyes go glassy. She leans in to kiss me and I hold her tight, but I evade her kiss because I have more to say and I heave a breath.
“You deserve my commitment and I was too…I don’t know whatto give it to you.”
“Too stubborn?” she says then shakes her head, “No, too good and noble and decent.” I snort.
“Too stupid. I’ll stick with that. Too thick to see what I’d be giving up and how much I need you.” I pause and take her face in my hands. “Sugar buns, I’ll gladly commit to you, to lead my life with you any way you want, any way that will make you happy. You want it? I’ll walk through the fires of hell if I need to to get it for you.” I take a deep shuddering breath. “That includes having children. As many as you want.”
She laughs and throws her arms around me and tears come, and I’m hoping they’re tears of joy.
“Oh Maddox. You’re everything. I don’t need children. Besides it would be hard to keep that promise since you had that procedure.”
“About that,” I say. “I may have exaggerated about having the procedure,” I admit.
“Exaggerated?” Her face is comically quizzical.
“I scheduled the appointment, and went to the doctor’s office with every intention of getting it done. But when I came face to face with the reality of the procedure and I saw the tray filled with scalpels, scissors and needles, I backed out, literally.” Her eyebrows shoot up. “But I told everyone I had it done and that had the same discouraging effect and reinforced my commitment, however misguided it may have been.”
Her mouth opens and hangs there like a shocked invitation, so I accept it and kiss her deeply.
“You lied,” she says into my mouth, breathless, before she kisses me back. I pull away.
“You’re not upset, are you?”
“I’m thrilled,” she says, that giddy look returning. “Not that you lied, but about the truth.” I push strands of her rich hair from her face, a quiet joy settling on me that feels permanent, indestructible.
“So,” she says, “before when I was trying to tell you about the cooking show and you said you thought I was going to tell you something else, what were you thinking?” Her eyes command me to spill all and for no better reason than the fact that I want to share everything with this woman, I do.
“I thought,” I lower my voice in case fate or the gods are listening, “you were going to tell me you have a little sugar bun in the oven.” I hold my breath. Her eyes go wide and her mouth splits into a grin.
“Shit, that would have been a much bigger surprise. Especially for me.” She gives me a speculative look. “You’re not disappointed, are you?”
“What? No, no. One life changing moment at a time. We don’t want to tempt fate too far, do we?” She shakes her head and I tighten my arms around her, feeling that familiar pull that never seems to go away between us. I take a deep breath of her essence a familiar indefinable scent and nibble at the shell of her ear causing her to shudder and sigh.
“What do you say we celebrate?” I say.
“What do you have in mind?”
“The usual, champagne, dancing on tables—” She laughs and slides her hand down to check out my package. “Like what you find, sugar buns?”
“Feels like you’re definitely in the mood to dance. We can skip the champagne and tables.”
“Spoil sport.” She laughs again and pure pleasure skips along my nerves. “Did you know I’m addicted to your laugh and I’m going to need a fix, say every ten minutes or so for the rest of our lives?” She sucks in a breath and then, she laughs, purposefully at first and then dissolves into real giggles of that pleasure that is more precious than anything, that joy that makes life worth all the pain, that essence of life that should never be taken for granted.
“I adore you and your laugh.”
“Do you love my tears, too? Because I think I may cry I’m so happy.” My heart stutters and I know for sure I’m healthy when it thuds strong and true as I kiss her tears, treasuring the joy she spreads however she does it, laugh, cry, giggle, frown, or when she throws sparks from those amazing green eyes showing her passion, sharing it all with me.
Lifting her, she squeals her surprise and wraps her legs around me as I hold her sweet buns in my palms.
“Where are you taking me/”
“If you were a betting woman, where would you put your money?”
“You’re carrying me to your cave?” she laughs and I chuckle, nibbling her mouth as I carry her into the bathroom and drop her in the shower. She laughs and I join her, pinning her against the tile wall before she escapes.
“Did you think this was a chasing game?” She calms as I lean my body against hers and we stare into each-other’s eyes, speaking that universal language, understanding perfectly how we feel without a word, breathing each-other’s breath, emotions soaring, making me feel more alive than I’ve ever been.
“God how much I love you, sugar buns.” My voice cracks on the words and I kiss her, caressing her lips with mine, opening up to her, giving her everything I have and hoping it’s enough to last a lifetime.
# The End #
