Page 20 of He Has Charm (Boston Brawlers Hockey)
* * *
At the rink
I hadn’t planned to stay, but there’s something about an empty ice rink that makes me linger—the hollowness up to the rafters, the cold air swirling on the surface, and the peace that forces my imagination to fill it all with images. So I follow him inside the dark hallway and take a left toward the ice, where I’m surprised at the presence of members of the press. Including my nemesis Nora Olak. Shit. I always try to avoid talking to her, but she never fails to track me down, as if she thinks I’m stupid enough to repeat that one mistake I made literally the first day on my job where I spilled a private detail of a not-to-be-named client’s contract. It was a flat-out wondrous miracle to me that Jett didn’t fire me on the spot that day. Because he didn’t, he’s become nearly heroic in my mind and I will bestow on him my firstborn—if I ever have kids, which I doubt I will.
As I scan the various clusters of people milling about, I spot Ham and rush over to him, firm ground in my shook-up world. He breaks away from the man he was talking to when he sees me and I settle in next to him.
“Did you know the press was going to be at this morning’s skate?” A cloud of air puffs from my mouth in the cold.
“No. But if the team doesn’t go out of their way to announce a closed practice, an ambitious reporter might show up to milk the story about the new guy, which is apparently what happened. I only stopped by on the way to management’s office for a quick meeting. Make sure you stay and monitor the narrative. Don’t let him talk except in one-syllable words.”
“Will do.”
“And one other thing,” my boss says, pulling us aside to talk. “We can cancel the apartment hunt. The meeting is about where Knight will be staying and, by default, where you’ll be staying. The team is making available that townhouse they own in Beacon Hill not far from the Garden. You can both stay there until the end of the season. You’ll move in tomorrow.”
“It’s a good-sized place and the cost has been factored into his compensation. You okay being roommates with Knight for the next four months?” I nod and he nods back.
“And just to warn you, I wouldn’t put it past that ballbuster Mary Delaney in PR to stop in and make sure there are no wild parties now and then since she lives in the neighborhood. In fact, Rafe doesn’t live far and I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t keep an eye on you, too.”
“Great—then let them babysit Knight. What do they need us for?” My desperation for money has me kicking myself for the comment.
“Look, Harper, bottom line is this is your assignment because we’ve been contracted to do it, and we can’t go back on it even if the Brawlers are using us as a potential scapegoat if things go south. They’re making a big investment in Knight and he’s a risk so this is their failsafe clause. I wish I could tell you that if you don’t want the job, I can find someone else who will take your place.” He heaves a sigh. “But I can’t.”
“I know you’re counting on me. I’m counting on me too.” I stop short of telling him how much I need the bonus. My chest feels like it’s being squeezed tight. I look away to gather myself because I can’t admit to Ham the reason for my desperate money. Dad’s old gambling debt is the kind of thing the agency doesn’t want to be associated. Gambling is a big no-no in this business and any whiff of that would be deadly t omy career. And I love my career, going to games, meeting all the players, the owners, spending time at the arenas all across the country.
Next to playing hockey, it’s a dream job and I’m living it. Plus, after I get this bonus at the end of the season I’ll be able to pay off the last of the gambling debt and put that financial disaster behind us. Then maybe I’ll be able to start mourning my dad or think about him again as he used to be.
Maddox skates by on the other side of the boards and I tell myself it’ll be fine. He’ll be on best behavior and of course I don’t want to lose this job with my dream agency just when I’m on the cusp of reaching the place I’ve been striving and scraping for, full agent status. I square my shoulders and turn back to Jett.
“I’ll get us to the end of the season intact.” My words are confident as if I’m in the negotiating room and Jett grins. “You’ll be so pleased you may want to promote me ahead of schedule,” I say, because I see the angle. He laughs.
“You’re right, Harper. This is one of those assignments that could either make or break your career.” His words slap me with the realization, making my heart beat fast like I’m running away from a nightmare, but it’s only my own imagination that taunts me as I picture myself in that video with Maddox and shudder at the horror and the pleasure.
I’m putting everything on the line, my dream career, the chance to put my family’s financial struggles behind us, and unbeknownst to my boss, possibly my heart. Because that little crush I had on Knight from afar is bound going to grow now that we’re going to be up close.
Unless I can keep him at arm’s length and be rational about the stupid crush.
What am I so afraid of? My own sensuality and need for sex? My vulnerability to Knight’s other nonsexual charms? How about a big fat yes to both in a bone-jarring nod? Do I have the resolve to withstand the onslaught of constant temptation?
I haven’t been able to resist wanting him yet in the short time I’ve known him, having wished that small kiss on my temple on the airplane was so much more.
He’s the personification of that intrinsic basic necessity to want and own and embrace, to breed. Oh my god, no. The horrific idea of having his children provokes a surge of defiance against him in spite of my strong instincts otherwise, and the war inside silences me, freezes me with confusion. I feel sick.
Until one need trumps both the horror of the idea of having his children and theneedto have his children. And that’s the need to survive, to put food on my table, to earn a living and provide for myself and my family. I need this job.
“I’m nothing but professional,” I say.
“That’s what I thought.” He reaches out, squeezing my shoulder. “Don’t look so depressed. It’ll be fun. I bet you guys get along and make the best of it. You’re both hardworking professionals, right?”
I nod, feeling like an arctic wind just blew through me, robbing me of my blood and energy. I’m drained and barely functional because the compass of who I am is pointing in all kinds of crazy directions right now, none of them familiar.Having his children?Where the fuck did that notion come from? How can I go from a serious professional to a simpering woman overridden by her most basic biological needs? I thought I was more evolved, more ambitious, more sane than that. I can’t go from finding Knight attractive all the way to desperate to have his children—or wanting to fuck him like a mindless rabbit at the mercy of my hormones.
There has to be a cure for this short-circuit in my system that Knight’s presence has wreaked and I have to find it if I’m going to last until the end of this season. I nod my head more firmly and find my voice.
“One hundred percent professional.” Do I have my fingers crossed behind my back, metaphorically speaking? Maybe, but I’ll start with fake it till you make it and will myself to mean it, because I have no choice.
There are only two outcomes. Succumb to Knight’s charms and lose my job, my livelihood, my family’s salvation, literally everything, or resist him and get that promotion and raise securing my future. Should be no contest.
He stays late to take slapshot practice with Finn, so I stay and wait for him to let him now we’ll be moving into the team’s townhouse sooner than later. Nerves have me jumpy, but the sound of his stick hitting puck after puck in a steady rhythm of fury settles me. I must be insane.
He’s driven me insane. And it’s only been two days.
