Page 66 of He Has It All (Boston Brawlers Hockey)
“You? How do you think I felt?” We both laugh. “Seriously, I’m fine. I come from a long line of lionhearted men.” He thumps his chest, then he thumps mine.
“You too. But you’re wasting yours.”
“What are you talking about? I’m in great shape.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about your emotional heart, boy.” He shakes his head and I go still. I’m not sure what this is about, but my so-called lionheart is now racing like a cheetah. He takes a deep breath, squeezes my hand until it hurts, and looks me in the eye.
“Stop dicking around and start courting Chelsea before I keel over for real.”
The rest of the family storms in then, but I don’t see Chelsea, so I go back out and find her standing outside. I tell her what Gramps said to me and she laughs, but it’s a nervous laugh.
“You’re not taking him seriously, are you?” She pretends nonchalance. I see through it, gain a bubble of nerve that overcomes my abject fear and the remnants of my guilt. I swear on Jason’s grave that I’m not playing with her. I’m not sure what I’m capable of, but I swear I’ll give her everything I have, put everything I have into a relationship with her and hope to God I can do it right.
“Why not?” I say.
“Because—”
The doctor comes back through and the family comes back out to the waiting area except Mom, who helps Gramps get dressed. I take Chelsea aside.
“Because why?”
“Never mind, Ryan. We can’t have this conversation now, here.”
She’s right. The family helps the cute nurse wheel Gramps to the door and I need to go with him.
“We will talk about this. Soon,” I say. She looks like I’ve just slapped her with a white glove. Maybe I have. She always did have a competitive streak. Right up there with the stubborn streak and the pride. Slipping my fingers through the hair at the back of her head, I sneak a short, powerful kiss. I think we both feel the kick. When I break it off after only a second she’s stunned and breathless. That puts a smile on my face as we go out the door. I pile into the car with my brothers. Mom and Dad take Gramps in their car and Chelsea goes with Maggs.
I don’t know when I’m going to see her next, but I will. Aside from the lawsuit and aside from hockey games, I need to see her, to be alone with her for a while to sort things out. Tall order when I have no idea what I’m about, what we’re about. I’m confused about everything except that I need her in my life. Badly.
* * *
The season openeris tomorrow night and we head into the locker room. It’s usually buzzing with media, but since all they care about is the lawsuit, they’re not allowed in the rink, let alone the locker room.
The last three days have been frustrating. The fucking lawsuit is all I hear about. I’m having no part of it. I haven’t had a chance to see Chelsea. We postponed the meeting with Levi and Eli and Ham until tonight. Eli and Ham make a good team. Now all I need is a new accountant. I’ve already given Eli power of attorney and had all access to my bank accounts by Tim shut down, all account numbers and passwords changed.
To Tim’s credit, I’m told he was cooperative and anticipated this.
Eli is handling the media for the duration of the lawsuit and is trying to keep things under control as my official spokesperson, but the media wants none of that. It’s a circus everywhere I go, including after practice every day. But the team is good about protecting me and most of the guys are sympathetic, especially because it’s my old buddy who’s suing. Not one of them thinks I’d attack any woman, much less go after a married woman. They know me and have all seen too often women going after me. They joke that it’s more likely Tim’s wife attacked me. I don’t deny it, but I can’t bring myself to confirm it. I don’t talk about the specifics of the incident at all. Lawyer’s orders, but in truth, I wouldn’t anyway.
The reality stings too badly. Fucking Tim and his fucking wife.
“Thanks, guys. Your support means a lot. Sorry for putting the team through this. I didn’t attack her and even though we can prove it, we’re trying to avoid the spectacle of a trial and settle this thing sooner than later.”
“That’s shit,” says Finn. “You know they’ll assume you’re guilty and they’ll drag the story up forever if you settle.”
I shrug. “The alternative is dragging the team and my family and friends through a week or more of a trial that’ll end up being a shitstorm of publicity and not necessarily end well. My attorney reminds me that sometimes people don’t look favorably on rich people.”
“True, but I wouldn’t know,” Finn says, but he’s grinning and slaps me on the back. “You do whatever you gotta do, man, and I for one will have your back. If you need me to testify, I’m there.” A couple of the other guys, including Brady Mack and Aiden also volunteer to testify if needed and I nod, making a promise to myself that I’m going to make sure we win the Stanley Cup this year if I have to shed blood to make it happen.
Even though the season is starting, I want to take Chelsea out, but I don’t dare go in public, not even for after-game drinks with the guys, not even to stop in for a couple before moving on with a date, the way I used to so often. They understand because they’re getting inundated with questions from the press and everyone and their mother about me.
I go to the practice facility, to the Garden, to my home and to my parents’ house—only when I check ahead to find out if there’s anyone camped there. My parents don’t have a garage and I don’t want to deal with media shouting at me from the sidewalk or street as I go from the driveway to the door. The local cops mostly keep the people at bay because they know me and my family and like us, believe my story.
But the meeting is on and Eli and Ham’s cars are out front of the house. They’ve saved me the spot in the driveway. It’s late, later than usual. I was the last one out of the locker room after practice. The team manager came in to talk to me. It took a half hour and his questioning was blunt. It was for the team’s investigation. He said it would take a couple of weeks to put all the statements together. I want to ask if they talked to Chelsea for the investigation, but I hold my tongue. I’ll ask Chelsea that question. I’m worried about her job.
One more reason I should avoid a relationship with her.
Parking the car, I’m pleasantly surprised that there is no media and I take my time going inside.
