Page 75 of He Has It All (Boston Brawlers Hockey)
“Not yet. No celebrating until we have the signatures. I promise to take you all out to celebrate when it’s final.”
Ryan says, “Shouldn’t that be the other way around? Shouldn’t I be taking you out to celebrate?”
“No, man. This was a team effort unlike anything I’ve ever seen.” He nods in approval and admiration, as if he’s practicing to be a judge. Maybe he is—I could picture it.
“In that case, it’s been fun, but it’s time to leave,” Ryan says.
He drives me home and walks me to the front door.
“I can’t believe you’re not coming inside.”
“It’s late and your mom is home.” He nods at her beat-up old car in the driveway. I don’t tell him that she can’t drive it anymore because of her last DUI. I’m not ready to share that tidbit in the deteriorating saga of Tanya Wilde’s life. I’m still wrapping my head around it. Trying to talk her into AA meetings, making all sorts of promises to keep her despair at bay. The latest one is that I will have at least three babies so she can be a grandma and at least one of them is guaranteed to be a little boy. To make up for my brother Jason. There’s a small spark in her, but then she reminds me I don’t even have a steady boyfriend—unless there’s something going on between me and Ryan that I want to tell her about.
That’s where I drop the ball. That’s one promise too far, especially not to myself. The last thing I want to do is get my mom’s hopes up by bringing Ryan home to stay over.
“Right,” I say. I don’t ask why we didn’t go to his place, because I am, once again, too chicken to hear the answer.
“Next time I’ll take you to my place,” he says, reading my mind. My heart blooms.Next time.
But I remind myself that I might have heard that line before. Four years ago. Maybethisis next time. Pulse racing, I watch him lean down, lowering his head slowly, the warmth of his breath intensifying until his mouth meets mine. The kiss feels like a magic carpet ride because I feel like we’ve left the real world, like there’s nothing around us but the cool October breeze, the male leather and cologne scent of him, a little smoky as if someone nearby was smoking a cigar and the scent clung to him. I cling to him.
My mouth open, my mind open, my heart squeezes and strains to open because I know what’s inside. Everything. My whole life, my body and soul, waits to surrender to him, to be handed over to him for eternity, for that never-look-back, no-regrets kind of commitment. Moist and plump with the ravage of his kiss, my lips quiver as he lifts his mouth from mine. Sucking in air, he smiles, pressing me against my back door, the bulge in his jeans hitting my hot spot.
“Full of all kinds of energy, aren’t you?” Sass is safe. It’s what I know. It’s how I relate to him. Mostly.
“That’s one way to put it.” He drags in a ragged breath and pulls away from me. I keep the whimper to myself, promising my pussy I’ll make up for his desertion later.
“Guess I’ll go to bed with some of those nude photos tonight,” I admit, enjoying the hot pleasure that lights his face.
“You’re fucking killing me. And it’s not fair. I don’t have any nude photos of you.”
“You don’t need them,” I say. “You have a memory.” My voice is scratchy and low and I’m remembering that hot night and thinking to hell with the damn photos.
He smiles and hesitates, like he wants to pull me back for another kiss, for maybe more than a kiss, but he doesn’t.
“I got a morning skate. I should leave now while I still can,” he says. And he does.
* * *
The next dayat Ryan’s parents’ house, around the kitchen table, Ryan announces that he’s just heard from Eli.
“It’s final. The lawsuit is over. Tim agreed to dismiss the case with the condition that I pay for his attorney’s fees. HeconvincedTiffany to fall in line. He also agreed to make a public statement.” His smile fades. “And he’s filing for divorce.”
His brothers whistle and slap each other and Ryan on the back as if we’ve won the Stanley Cup.
His mom brings out the champagne and his dad pops the cork, but Ryan barely has a sip.
“I have to get to bed,” he says. He gives me a look and then proceeds to say goodnight to everyone.
When he leaves, I slip out after him. I shouldn’t care if I’m noticed. Don’t know why I’m not comfortable in front of his family with being someone he’s dating. I can’t even thinkgirlfriend.
Catching up with him outside is easy, because he’s sitting against the hood of his car waiting for me.
We grin at each other.
“Want to have a sleepover?” I say.
He chuckles and takes me in a hug between his legs. It’s a very comfortable, very hot place to be.
