Page 97 of Without a Hitch
Lowering my chin, I wait until his gaze meets mine. “I’m not most people, Lochlan. I don’t require things. If I truly need something, I’ll find a way to get it on my own. I don’t need anyone taking care of me, and I’m not interested in a human ATM.”
An angry grunt has me pulling back to fully take him in. His expression curdles my stomach, and a wave of emotion hits me hard in the chest.
“Your ex? She made demands of you.” I’m starting to understand this man, and anger furls in my gut at the faceless woman who hurt him so deeply. “She used you and took from you, and you allowed it because you loved her.”
Knowing he did love someone that much has my eyes growing damp with unshed tears, but I refuse to allow them to fall.
“I didn’t see it happening,” he mutters before closing his eyes. When they open again, I can see the war raging within him.
“Because you trusted her, Lochlan. We’re programmed to trust those we love, and she took advantage of that. In a perfect world, it would never bite us in the ass. But the world isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. I’m guessing you didn’t see it because she worked hard to ensure you didn’t. That’s on her, not you. Don’t let the bad behaviors of others affect your future.”
“Trust doesn’t come easy to me,” he admits quietly.
“Trust is earned. I’ve learned that the hard way. My default is to trust everyone. Assume everyone is my friend, but I know that many people will be your friend or your partner when it suits them. That’s not friendship, and it’s definitely not love. The reality is people will generally hang themselves with their true nature if you give them enough rope. It’s okay to keep them at arm’s length until they’ve earned your trust, but Loch? Eventually, you have to trust someone, or the loneliness will crush you.”
He pulls me into him and buries his face in my neck, whispering words I can’t make out. We’re silent for a few miles, each lost in thought. The car turns at an intersection, and Lochlan kisses my cheek while one hand rubs circles on my back.
“Thank you,” he breathes.
“Can I ask you something?”
He leans back into the seat but pulls me with him. “Anything.”
“Is your ex… Is she the reason you’ll never get married?”
His hand freezes, and his heartbeat accelerates under my palm. When I glance down, I see his right hand in a fist. I push myself into an upright position so we’re face to face. I search his eyes for unspoken truths, but he doesn’t answer me. There’s a faraway look in his expression, and I get the distinct impression he’s lost in a memory.
The car rolls to a stop, and I feel the driver’s eyes on us. “Loch?”
Gently, he slides me into the seat next to him as he reaches for his phone.
“Lochlan?”
Dark, cold eyes cut to mine. His words are nearly a hiss. “Something like that, Tilly. I’m done talking about her.”
My heart recoils against my ribs, and I swallow painfully. When he opens the door, I school my expression but flinch when he offers me his hand. My entire body shivers when I place my palm in his, and for the first time since we’ve met, it’s not in anticipation of what’s to come, but dread.
* * *
“You’re quite good at this,”John Ross exclaims, swinging a large metal hook to catch the white sea bass I’ve just reeled in.
My cheeks hurt from smiling, and when I peek over my shoulder, I find Lochlan leaning against the side of the boat with an indulgent grin, but also a little green. We found out pretty early on that he wouldn’t be baiting any hooks. Who knew my lover would have such a weak stomach for blood and guts?
“I used to fish in the creek near my house growing up. It was one of the only places I ever got to be truly alone.”
“Did you go with your dad?” It’s a fair question, and you’d think I’d be prepared for it after all this time, but it still catches me off guard.
“Tilly’s father wasn’t around much,” Lochlan interrupts, hesitantly coming closer. “I had no idea when you said you wanted to go fishing that you actually wanted to fish.” His chuckle is infectious as he kisses the top of my head.
Turning to Billy, the first mate, I shrug. “Might be time for you to take over.” He moves quickly to undo the belt around my waist that helps anchor the rod, and Lochlan growls at the poor kid.
I lift my arms, and wait for Billy to make his adjustments, then turn in place and wrap them around Lochlan’s neck. “What did you think I’d do, lover? Lay out on the boat and read?”
He slow blinks, and I realize that’s exactly what he thought. Shaking my head, I let the laughter flow freely without any hesitation or self-doubt.
John passes behind us, clapping Lochlan on the shoulder. “The more your woman can surprise you, the happier your life will be. Trust me on this one.”
“She surprises me every day,” he whispers, leaning in for a chaste kiss. Raising his voice, he calls over his shoulder. “Are you ready for lunch?”
